Aftermath
by literallyliterati
Summary: After the disaster at Kyle's party, Rory goes to the diner to make sure Jess is okay. What she finds is an bruised and broken boyfriend. Note: This isn't a happy ending story but it is open ended.
1. Night of the party

**A/N; I'm back! This idea is actually something I've had in my head for a while now. I always wondered why the show brushed past that Jess and Dean looked like they could have been badly hurt during that fight on 3x19. It then led to the idea of what if Rory checked to make sure he was okay? Then this happened. I hope you like it.**

 **I did a poll on Twitter to try to figure out my next story I should write. This one won above the three other options and maybe depending on the reactions and reviews, it could be longer. So far it's just this but that could change. You never know ;)**

Rory wrapped her jacket tightly around her. The air outside was nice, it wasn't cold at all. It was the nerves and anxiety of tonight crashing on her once she left Lane for the night. She made her way towards her destination and as the diner came into view, she panicked.

The whole night had been a mess. Both she and Jess had been looking forward to that party all week. When she had gone to meet him, something had changed. Jess was surly and detached. He seemed distant and she didn't push. Now she realized she should have.

The diner was dark. All of the lights downstairs were off and the chairs were on top of the tables. Rory took a step back and tried to see if any lights were on in the apartment.

When she finally saw a glimmer of light, Rory grabbed rocks from beside the sidewalk and threw them at the window. Within seconds, the familiar face if her boyfriend appeared as he checked to see who was the cause of the noise.

For a short moment, Jess' face softened. He wasn't angry or frustrated, he was the Jess she loved being around. But just as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared.

Rory frowned, thoughts racing. Before she could process any of the thoughts, Jess was at the door. He unlocked the diner for her and she walked to it, locking the door again once she was inside.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hi," Jess said back, a drop of acid in his tone.

Rory almost stumbled back. She didn't expect him to still be angry at her. She sniffed, fighting back the obvious tears. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," he said, the acid seeped through more soundly now.

"Jess," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What are you doing here, Rory?" He asked, his voice less angry.

"I wanted to see if you were okay," she replied.

"I'm fine," he said quickly. "You can go check on your knight in shining armor now."

Rory bit her lip to stop herself from crying. "I'm here about you. Not Dean."

"Why?" He asked.

It wasn't a snappy response or an accusation. He genuinely wanted to know why she'd make sure he was okay. Rory felt her stomach sink as she realized this was her doing.

"Because you're my boyfriend," she answered. "I care about you."

Jess' face said nothing. He kept a stony face and didn't let his feelings show. "Rory, just go home."

"Not until I know you're all right," she pressed. "Jess, I didn't mean to go to Dean. He was there on the stairway. It's not like I ran to him."

"But you didn't run away either," he pointed out.

"No," she whispered but then spoke up. "What happened in that bedroom, Jess? One second you're fine, the next -"

"If you'd been paying attention tonight, you'd have seen I hadn't been fine at all," he commented.

Rory searched her memories of the night, every second of them. She knew he was right. "Then talk to me."

His expression showed through this time. Jess was torn between letting her in and telling her to leave again. He looked down to the floor and back up again. Rory's eyes were wet and her lower lip had started to bleed from holding it between her teeth so long. He hated that he did that to her.

"Okay," he agreed.

Rory nodded. "Okay."

Jess led her upstairs to the diner apartment. Once inside, he stood awkwardly in the kitchen, reminiscent of the early days of their relationship. Rory watched him carefully until he was ready to speak. When he stayed quiet, she took a step towards him.

"This won't work if you don't talk, you know," she tried to tease.

A small smirk sneaked onto his face but it faded quickly. "You're not gonna like it."

"It can't be worse than what I'm thinking," she said honestly.

Jess nodded. He knew he deserved her thinking the worst. When he moved to sit down, he winced and hoped Rory didn't notice.

Apparently hope was too much. She was at his side instantly. Her face was covered in worry as she looked over him to see what hurt. It was then she saw the bruises forming on his face. "Oh my God."

"You should see the other guy," he joked.

"Jess," she shook her head. "How bad?"

He knew she didn't just mean his face. Instead of answering, Jess stood up again and lifted his shirt. Purple spots appeared over his abdomen, some looked worse than others. Rory found herself being brave without making any decision to be. She reached out and touched around the purple spots. Jess winced.

"Jess," she breathed.

"I'm okay," he said, more strained now.

"This doesn't look okay," she told him.

"It's fine," he replied.

Rory walked around him and lifted up the back of his shirt as well. A small gasp escaped her lips and he knew that his back must be worse. Images of Dean throwing Jess around the room - into walls, smashed tables and even Dave came to her mind.

"This looks bad," she said out loud, not having meant to.

"Rory, don't worry about it," he pulled his shirt down so she couldn't look at the bruises anymore.

She walked back around until she stood in front of him again. "You have to get help."

"No," he said firmly.

"Jess," she said again. "You have to. You're hurt!"

"And what exactly is going to happen?" He questioned. "Dean gets a pat on the back for beating up the bad boy?"

"No but maybe you won't have to wince when you sit down!" She yelled.

"I'm fine, Rory," he said quieter this time. "Don't worry about me, all right? I've handled worse."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She asked.

"A little," he said.

Rory huffed. "How are you joking? Your back is all bruised up, Jess! Your face looks like the early aftermath of a bar brawl which is not that far off. You're in pain. How can you be cracking jokes right now?"

"Because if I didn't, I'd have to face what's really going on," he said seriously and walked towards his side of the apartment.

"And what's going on?" She wondered.

"Nothing," he lied.

"You just said -"

"I know what I said," he admitted. "But it's nothing. Forget I said it."

"Does it have anything to do with why you've been moody all night?" She asked.

Jess sighed. "Yes."

"Tell me."

"Rory -"

"No," she said strongly. "Tell me what's going on. Tell me what would make you - "

Rory stopped her sentence, unsure how to put it. "Make me what?"

"Behave the way you did," she finished.

"I'm sorry," he admitted, not able to look at her face. "What happened up there - it shouldn't have happened and I got too carried away. I didn't expect it to happen like that. You asked me if I did and I didn't."

"I'm not mad about that," Rory replied with a shake of her head. "Just tell me what's going on."

Jess took a deep breath and walked over to the kitchen sink. When he was sure Rory wouldn't come beside him, he spoke. "I'm not graduating. I flunked out."

"What do you mean, you flunked out?" She asked. "You're smarter than almost everyone there, Jess. How could you fail your classes?"

"I guess I'd need to attend them in order to pass them and I didn't," he told her calmly.

This time Rory came next to him. "You told me you were going enough."

"Apparently, me and the school have a different idea of what enough is," he said, still not looking at her.

Rory turned his shoulders so he'd face her. "Can you take summer school or -"

Jess shook his head. "They want me repeat the whole year. I missed too much."

"Are you?"

"No."

"Jess -"

"Rory, no," he said.

"Why not?" She asked. "You can't just let them flunk you out when you're smart enough to graduate with honors."

"It's no use, Rory," he explained. "I can't do it. Sitting in those classes, with people who couldn't care less about how I do and just want me out - I can't."

"What are you going to do then?" She asked quietly.

He was silent for a moment before he found his voice again. "I don't know."

Jess went to sit down again and just like before, he winced. Rory moved closer to him, worried. "Let me help."

"It's not like I can take you to class with me," he smirked as best as he could.

"As much as I love the idea, I don't mean that," she smiled softly at him. "Come on. Get back up."

"What are we doing?" He stood up and Rory moved him towards his side of the room before she sat him on his bed.

When she was sure, he wouldn't get you, Rory went back to the kitchen. He couldn't see what she was doing but when she came back, there was ice in her hand. "Take your shirt off."

"I'm in pain, Rory, not that I'd say no," he teased with the most serious expression he could form.

"Ssh," a smile almost broke out on her face.

Jess did as he was told. The winces were even worse as he tried to pull his arms out of the sleeves and the shirt over his head. Rory watched helplessly, she knew he wouldn't let her do it for him, not right now.

If she was thinking anything about the bruises, her face didn't give it away. Wordlessly, she put the ice over him. Jess hissed at the cold but easily relaxed once her hand held onto his arm.

"Can you hold this?" She asked about the ice.

"Yeah," Jess put his hands over hers as she slipped hers underneath to let go of the cold.

Rory was out of the room within seconds and back in almost the same time. She held soaking wet paper towels. "Come on."

Jess let out a small laugh. "What's that for?"

"You have too many bruises for just one block of ice," she explained. "I'm gonna see if freezing cold water helps the spot the ice isn't on."

Together they walked into the bathroom, where she sat Jess on the toilet. He held the ice on the worst of the bruises and slowly, she ran the cold water paper towels over his skin. Again, he hissed at the cold so she smiled at him.

"How's that feel?" She asked.

"Cold," he told her. "But not bad."

"I'm not really sure what to do after someone's in a fight," she said.

"I wouldn't want you to know," he said softly. "You're doing good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"It hurts less than it did - before you came," he confessed.

"Good," she nodded. "It doesn't really look any different, though."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It was only tonight after all and they tend to look worse before they look better."

Rory was silent. She just nodded without a word. His words seemed like he meant more than just his bruises from tonight.

…

A phone rang loudly into the quiet of the night. Rory opened her eyes and saw her cell phone on the table beside her. She sat up from the couch and flipped it open without checking who it was. "Hello?"

"Daughter!" Lorelai gasped. "Finally. I've been worried sick."

"Mom?" She questioned, her hands rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she wondered what time it was.

"Yes, it is I," she replied. "Rory, where are you? I called anyone I could think of. When I called Lane, it seemed kind of tense and Mrs Kim seemed smug that I couldn't find you. Almost like she thought her night was worse and then I called."

Rory looked around the diner apartment. She could lie but what could she say? She went for the truth. "I'm at Luke's."

"Honey, I know I made you as coffee reliant as I am but Luke's is closed," she pointed out.

"I'm in the apartment," she closed her eyes and got ready for the freakout.

Lorelai was quiet for a moment. "Please don't tell me you're there why my mind thinks you are there. And before you say no, I know Luke's at the inn."

"Dean and Jess got into a fight at the party," she explained. "He got hurt pretty bad."

"Oh my God," her mother couldn't believe what she heard. "Dean and Jess? Did jess' start the fight? What happened?"

"No, Jess didn't start it," Rory answered. "Jess went missing during the party. I went to go find him and he was upstairs and we got into a really bad fight. Dean saw me come downstairs and I was crying -"

"Jess made you cry?" Lorelai interrupted.

"Yes but there's more," she said. "Jess saw me with Dean and he tried to leave I think. Dean put two and two together and he hit him, hard."

"Wow," she replied. "Dean punched Jess first and let me guess - he didn't let that go, did he?"

"No," she whispered.

"How bad was it?" Lorelai asked.

"Bad," Rory nodded. "They fought through the whole downstairs and then out onto the lawn. Mom, it was horrible. I couldn't not watch. I was so worried something really bad would happen."

"And how is Jess now?" She asked, surprised at her own concern for her daughter's boyfriend.

"Sleeping," she looked in the direction of his bed. "I tried to take care of him and he wanted to take a shower so I guess he was okay enough for that."

"And where are you sleeping?" She could almost see her mom raise her eyebrow.

"Jess is in his bed and I'm on the couch," she told her. "He told me not to stay but I wouldn't listen and he offered the bed. He needed the bed way more than me, though. The bruises look bad, Mom."

"But he's okay now?" She wondered.

"I'm not sure," Rory sighed sadly. "Is it okay I'm staying here? I should have called or said something but so much happened and it slipped my mind."

"Don't worry about it," Lorelai said. "I'll be expecting to see you in the morning though, miss."

"Will do," she nodded in agreement.

"Now go back to sleep," she scolded. "I'm not being to blame for a Gilmore not sleeping. Especially now that I can sleep knowing where you are at least."

"I'm sorry, Mom -"

"It's okay," she said. "I'll see you in the morning, all right?"

"Okay," she said and they said their goodbyes.

Instead of going back to sleep, Rory climbed off the couch and walked towards Jess' bed. His breathing was a little slow as if he was having slight difficulty. After his shower, he'd changed into a tee shirt and sweatpants. She thought of the bruises underneath the shirt and winced herself.

Once she was sure he was all right, Rory walked back to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass and poured some water into it. In one motion, she downed the entire glass and rinsed it out.

Her mind went through the entire night from the moment she left for the party. Jess had been right. He never had been fine tonight, not even a little. There was moments where he seemed like he could be but he wasn't. She didn't know how she didn't see it.

Everytime she tried to make sense of the night, even about whether or not he drank and then how much did he drink, it didn't help. Silent tears started to fall from her eyes. They quickly became less quiet as she leaned on the kitchen counter for support as she cried.

How much of what was going on with Jess did she miss? She didn't even know he'd been working extra at Walmart. She couldn't blame herself for that, she was at school but there were things a girlfriend could tell, right? She should have at least sensed something.

Rory wiped at her eyes but it was no use. The tears flowed freely whether she wanted them to or not. She couldn't pinpoint exactly where things had gotten messed up. Maybe it was after that disastrous Friday night dinner. Maybe it was this past week. Maybe it had been the beginning.

She took deep breaths and calmed herself down. The tears finally stopped enough for her to go back to sleep. With one more look at a sleeping Jess, she was on her way to the couch for the rest of the night.

…..

Someone was watching Jess. He was sure of this before he even opened his eyes. At first, he thought it might be Rory. That was until he opened his eyes.

"Morning, sunshine," Luke said to his nephew.

"Jeez," Jess rubbed his eyes as he awoke. "What are you doing here? I thought you were away with Nicole."

"I got a phone call late last night," he explained. "From someone who doesn't typically call me at 2:30 am. She told me you were in a fight last night and that her daughter was staying in my apartment."

"Lorelai," Jess muttered. He still didn't move from his sleep position. He felt like crap. The pain hurt again.

"Yes, Lorelai," be confirmed. "That explains Rory out there asleep on the couch then. You wanna tell me about the fight?"

"Dean started it," he said.

"Dean?" He was stunned. "Dean was who you fought with?"

"Lorelai didn't tell you?" he asked.

"Something had to cause Dean to do it," Luke said.

"He's been itching to punch me for over a year," Jess replied. "He saw Rory crying and took his chance."

Luke's expression turned angry. "What did you to Rory?"

Jess didn't want to get into details and definitely not before he talked to Rory about what happened. "We fought."

Luke sighed. "And let me guess, Dean just happened to be there? I never liked that kid."

"I can't say I entirely blame him," Jess sighed too. "If I saw some jerk made her cry, I'd probably hit him too. I guess I just hoped the jerk wouldn't be me. Kinda hard to punch myself in the face, you know?"

"Then what happened?" He continued.

"It escalated," he confirmed. "We fought out pretty much frustration this past year has brought for as long as we could. Until the cops came."

"I'm gonna get a call, aren't I?" He asked.

Jess smirked. "Probably."

"And Rory?" He wondered.

"Rory found me later," he said. "If it wasn't for her, I'd probably be in a lot more pain."

Like nodded. "All right. We'll talk about this more later. When we're alone."

"Okay," he said and when his uncle started to walk away, he called out Luke's name. "I need to tell you something else."

"What is it?" Luke asked.

A deep breath exhaled out of Jess' mouth. "I had a meeting with Principal Merton today when I tried to pick up prom tickets. I'm not graduating."

"What did you say?" He asked. "I could have sworn you just said you're not graduating, which you have to be. The deal was to graduate."

"I could go to the ceremony but, you know, they might kick me out," he said calmly as he tried to sit up. It turned out he hurt even more than last night.

"Jess!" He exclaimed a little louder than he meant. They both glanced in the direction of Rory.

"Can this be one of those things we talk about later too?" Jess asked. "I rather not wake Rory up because of a shouting match."

"You brought it up," he pointed out.

"Because you should know," he admitted then looked over towards Rory again. "And because I shouldn't keep things from people that care about me."

"Good," Luke gave him a small smile. "Come down when she's awake. It's better she wakes up before her mom gets here."

Jess nodded and Luke turned back around to leave. His mind already formed conversations and points to make in them about both school and the fight. Jess didn't care at the moment. He finally felt like maybe things could be better.

….

When Rory finally woke up not too long after like had been upstairs, Jess was seated at the kitchen table. The pain hurt bad but he was determined to not sit in his bed all day. Rory stirred awake and looked around, at first she didn't recognize her surroundings. Her eyes landed on Jess and it rushed back to her.

"Morning," he said to her.

Rory sat up and stretched. "Morning. That couch isn't too comfortable, is it?"

"That was why I offered you the bed," he replied.

"Maybe if you hadn't been hurt," she said. "And I was definitely not staying in Luke's bed. That's too weird."

"You didn't have to stay," Jess told her. "I know you were worried but you could have stayed at home. It'd have been comfortable at least."

Her face fell. "You didn't want me here, did you?"

"I didn't say that," he said.

Rory frowned and stood up from the couch. "I think I should go then."

She headed towards the door and Jess thought quickly. He stood and reached out for her hand. He winced but tried not to let it show. "Rory, wait."

"What is it?" She noticed the struggle he'd tried to hide. "Does it still hurt?"

Jess nodded. "Worse than last night."

"Oh my God," she said and frantically looked around.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Come on. Come back."

"I don't know what to do when someone's in that much pain," she said sadly. "Maybe we should get help."

"No help," he said. "It's just pain."

"But what about internal blee-"

He chuckled. "You think you're getting rid of me that easy? Bleed out because Forrester had a good arm for a couple of shots?"

"Please don't joke," she said. "Not about this. It's serious, Jess. You're hurt."

"And I'll get better," he told her. "I always have."

"I know," Rory said. "I just don't want you to hurt. Not if I could do something."

"Ditto," he said sadly.

"Jess, I'm fine," she clarified.

"That party was a disaster," he replied. "And I am sorry. For all of it."

"I know that too," she smiled softly. "But it doesn't mean I'll be okay with you wincing at every movement."

"Not every movement," he said. "Look."

Jess moved his his thumbs then his index fingers. He continued to do so with each finger until all ten have been moved. When he was done, Rory took his hands and held them in hers. She kissed his knuckles lightly and smiled at him again.

"I have an idea," she said. "Let's do something today. Let's go somewhere."

"Where?" He asked.

"I don't know yet," she said. "But if we're gonna make this work, we have to be a team and not just a couple, right? We can talk and maybe we can figure out what's been going on."

Jess smiled. He was surprised at how much the idea didn't scare him. For once, he didn't mind the suggestion of going somewhere to talk. "I'd like that."

Rory beamed brightly. "But we're gonna take it easy."

"It's a plan," he said back. "Just one thing - Luke knows about the fight. He wants to have a talk with me later."

"We'll be back in time," she smiled.

He excused himself to get dressed and Rory headed down the stairs. Jess had two important talks with people today and for the first time in a long while, he was okay with that. Luke and Rory cared about him, which was more than he ever had before Stars Hollow. Maybe, just maybe, things would be all right.


	2. The morning after the night from hell

_"_ _What do you think about Footloose?" Rory asked as she sat on her bed, books laid out in front of her._

 _Jess shrugged. "I didn't hate it. I wouldn't watch it that often though."_

 _"_ _Oh," she sounded sad._

 _"_ _Why?" He looked at his girlfriend. "Are we watching that tonight? Did I just ruin your plans?"_

 _Rory smiled softly at him. "No, no. I didn't rent it."_

 _"_ _Okay," he leaned forward in the chair at her desk. "Then what is it? What brought Footloose up?"_

 _"_ _I guess I was just thinking about dancing," she tried to sound indifferent._

 _"_ _Dancing?" She nodded. "You were thinking about dancing?"_

 _"_ _Dancing...at a dance," she replied. "A prom."_

 _Jess nodded in understanding. "Prom."_

 _"_ _The Stars Hollow prom is coming up soon," she began. "And I was just thinking, maybe, it wouldn't be so bad...if you know, we...maybe we could -"_

 _Jess smirked at her rambles. "Are you asking me to go to prom with you, Rory?"_

 _She looked up at him from under her eyelashes. "Maybe. If you want to go."_

 _"_ _I thought the guy asked," he teased._

 _"_ _I'm a feminist woman," she said back with a smile. "We say buck tradition."_

 _"_ _So you want to go to prom," he stated. "Stars Hollow prom. Not Chilton?"_

 _"_ _Don't get me wrong, I love it there," Rory answered. "But I always imagined I'd hang out with Lane at my prom. I grew up here and with these people. I just thought it'd be nice to go to it there instead."_

 _"_ _So you want to go to my prom," he pointed out._

 _"_ _Yes," she confirmed._

 _"_ _What would you do if you weren't dating a student there?" Jess teased._

 _"_ _I'd use my feminine wiles to get someone to take me, of course," she teased back._

 _"_ _I thought you said you're a feminist," he said._

 _"_ _We have many sides," she replied with a smirk of her own._

 _Jess probably would have fell out of his chair had he not been leaning against the back. Was she flirting? Sure, he was already her boyfriend, for almost seven months now, but it still surprised him when she flirted. It meant she wanted something._

 _He smirked. "What kind of sides?"_

 _"_ _Jess," she said sweetly, an ulterior motive hidden underneath. "Will you go to prom with me?"_

 _He pretended to think. "Do I get something out of this?"_

 _"_ _You get to get to prom with me," she batted her eyelashes at him and he laughed. She laughed too and held her hands out for him. Jess took them as he began to trace lines on her skin. "Please, Jess. It could be fun."_

 _He raised his eyebrow at her and sighed. "I'm not really a prom, dancing, tuxedo kind of guy, Rory."_

 _"_ _I know," she shook her head. "And I don't want to force you to go if you don't want to. But...it would mean a lot to me. If you'd just think about it, you don't have to say yes but just think about it."_

 _"_ _Okay," he replied._

 _Rory frowned. "Okay?"_

 _"_ _Okay, I'll go," he said._

 _Her face beamed. "Really?"_

 _Jess couldn't help but smile at her excitement. "If it means that much to you, I'll go. I can't guarantee how much dancing there will be but we'll go."_

 _"_ _Aah!" She squealed and pulled him towards her. Rory wrapped her arms tightly around her boyfriend in a hug. His arms came around her in return. She buried her face in his neck. "Thank you."_

 _"_ _Don't thank me yet," he said. "Wait until you're sitting at the table all night because your boyfriend has two left feet."_

 _"_ _I don't care," she pulled apart. "We can sit all night. Jess, thank you."_

 _"_ _You really don't have to thank me," he said modestly. "It's not a big deal. You want to go and I want you to do things that make you happy."_

 _"_ _This makes me very happy," she nodded._

 _He smiled at her, glad to have something right. It was Rory who leaned in first and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Jess kissed her back instantly. He forgot where they were and what they had been talking about. There was nothing but this moment to him._

 _The kiss deepened and before either fully registered what was they were doing, Rory had pulled Jess down on top of her. He knew he should have pulled away or said something but his mind was blank._

 _Her hands came up into his hair. The softness touched her fingers, so much softer than the product he used would make you believe. Their lips stayed attached, Jess' tongue licked her bottom lip. When he did that, Rory's mouth opened slightly, an invitation._

 _Jess wasn't one to say no to the girl who now laid beneath him on her bed. His hands were on two places. His left placed itself on the side of her face, to hold her to him. The right was on the bed as he made sure he didn't press his weight on her. Rory's other hand, her left, was on Jess' waist._

 _The chaste kiss that had begun was long gone. It was as if they couldn't get enough of each other. This make out seemed different than any of their previous ones on Luke's couch. Rory's breathing became uneven and she needed to catch her breath. Her mind recalled a conversation with Jess months ago - "I can't catch my breath." "You're not supposed to." - That's how she felt right now._

 _When she pulled away, Jess had other plans. He didn't want to let go of her. His lips moved to her cheek, down the side of her face and to her neck. He placed kisses across her collarbone as best as he could. Her sweater didn't help any but he was determined to stay attached to her._

 _Rory finally could breathe again and she pulled his head back to her face. Their lips collided again. Before she could think about it, her left hand traveled to his back. She could feel the edge of a book on his pocket. Rory's hand pulled it out as best as she could. Jess smirked at her commitment._

 _Neither said anything even though maybe they should have. The book had been tossed to the floor and Rory's hand found its way into his back pocket. Jess couldn't explain how it felt, her hand on his backside, in a seeming innocent enough way._

 _His hand that had been on her face moved lower. It now rested on her stomach, her sweater inched up with each moment. He could feel her skin. Just as Jess was about to put his hand directly on her skin, it happened._

 _It must be a sign, he thought. The door opened and shut. Jess jumped off of Rory and she sat up. Lorelai called out her name from the living room. They fixed themselves as best as the could, Rory moved the books she had on the bed back to their original position. They'd been pushed aside during the spontaneous make out._

 _Jess was back on the chair at her desk and he now looked very interested in a notebook on her desk. Lorelai appeared in the doorway. She smiled as friendly as she could. "Whatcha two up to?"_

…..

"So no prom," Rory said almost robotically.

"I tried to get tickets," Jess explained. "When I was on line, they sent me to see the principal. That's how I found out I wasn't graduating."

"Are you sure there isn't anything you can do?" She asked. "Just because you're not graduating shouldn't mean you can't go to prom. What if you just talk to them?"

"I tried that," he shook his head before she even finished. "Apparently, things like prom is for those who actually attended their classes."

Rory was quiet. Jess watched her worriedly, his eyes landed on random spots around him. The wood of the bridge, the lake, the trees. He needed to know what she was thinking. Even if it was bad, he had to know.

"Rory, say something," he urged.

"I'm processing," she replied quietly.

He waited. She looked sad and hurt. He imagined she felt inside like he looked outside. Before they had left Luke's apartment, he saw himself in the mirror. His bruises were very visible now. How Luke and especially Rory had hidden their reaction to them was a mystery to him.

"So our plans -" she started but stopped. "Me and Mom were going to go dress shopping. She made an appointment for my hair because she wanted it look perfect. Me and Lane looked at limos."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. He knew it wouldn't do much but he couldn't not say it.

Rory sniffed, a stray tear fell. "Why did you do it, Jess? Why couldn't you go to class and graduate and take me to prom? What could possibly be so important you had to skip all those classes?"

Jess almost didn't answer. He hated that he had again made her cry. He knew it was more than just the prom part. But he also knew she wouldn't like his answer.

"It was work," he admitted. "They needed people and I wasn't good at being in class. So I figured what's the harm in taking a few extra shifts here and there?"

"Shifts," she sniffed. "Walmart was that important?"

"It's my job, Rory," he defended. "Was I supposed to quit because I had school?"

"No but you had a job already," she countered. "If you needed anything, Luke would have given you it."

"I couldn't do it," he explained. "Class isn't for me. I'd never have made it even if I went."

"You don't know that," Rory disagreed.

"Yes, I do," he said. "And I think you do too, somewhere."

"Jess," she sighed through a sniff. "Was it the money? Did you need it?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

She nodded. "It wasn't for a new car like you told me, was it?"

"No," Jess admitted.

"For what then?" She asked.

Jess sighed before he confessed. "I was saving up to leave."

"Where?"

"I don't know."

"Were you going to tell me?" She asked.

"Of course," he said as if it was obvious. But then it hit him how not obvious it was. "I was."

Rory nodded but she didn't look like she believed him entirely. "When?"

"I don't know," he said. "I started working there before we even started dating. I didn't have any exact plans."

"Your plans for leaving didn't change when we did get together then?" She asked in a whisper.

"They did," he told her. "At first I was going to find an apartment in Boston."

She looked up at him, her eyes shined. "Boston?"

"That's where you were going, right?" He asked. "I mean, I know I've been a crappy boyfriend at times but the dream was Harvard after you graduate, right?"

"Jess," she smiled for a moment. It faded just as quickly as it appeared. "But you changed that plan, didn't you? When I decided on Yale."

He sighed. "I got to admit, I liked the Harvard plan because it wasn't near here."

"So you wouldn't move there?" She asked.

"I don't know," he admitted. "There was closer to here and I figured I'd stay until I could afford something. I don't know."

Rory nodded again. She wanted to understand. She really did. It was hard to listen to him tell her he'd have followed her while at the same time telling her there was a chance he wouldn't. "If you do leave, will you tell me? I can't not say goodbye to you. Not again."

He didn't even try to argue. "Okay."

Rory leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. Rory closed her eyes, needing it to be enough that Jess was there with her now. He told himself the same thing.

…..

"So you and Jess really didn't do anything?" Lorelai asked for what seemed like the twentieth time since Rory told her what happened.

"No, we didn't," she confirmed. "My answer won't change because you keep asking."

"But maybe you're not telling me just because of everything that happened," she said.

"Me and Jess did not sleep together," Rory told her. "Not at the party and not in the apartment."

"You know why I ask, right?" Lorelai waited for Rory to agree. She nodded. "The whole thing is a mess and then you tell me the fight started because you and Jess were in a bedroom and that things had gotten out of hand -"

"But it didn't happen," she cut her off. "Not at any time. Besides, I don't think that was even the problem. There's more going on with him than I knew. I can't believe I didn't see it."

"You said you two fought after you told him no," Lorelai commented. "It sounds like that was part of it."

"I think that's what set it off," she said. "Anger displacement or something like that. I don't know. We talked but we didn't get into what happened. He's so messed up about this, Mom."

"What's he going to do?" Lorelai looked over at her daughter beside her on the couch.

Their attempt at a movie night was long forgotten as soon as it began. Rory was quiet when she came in from a day with Jess. After she left him, she tried to visit Lane but that seemed fruitless. She wasn't seeing anybody and so she went home. Rory first went into the shower and when she came out, Lorelai stood at the door with her arms crossed and an explanation necessary.

It was that reason that Rory told her the story of what happened. Her mother had stayed quiet throughout and when she finished, Rory was bombarded with questions about the bedroom. Rory made no secret of how some short kisses had turned into making out on a stranger's bed.

But she didn't tell her how Jess had reached for her belt or didn't seem to hear the first couple of times she tried to get his attention by calling his name. Rory hadn't been ready, not right then. She told Lorelai a few months ago that maybe it would happen with Jess and she meant it. But during a party where Jess had been drinking was definitely not the time.

Reluctantly, she told Lorelai about Jess not graduating. She wasn't sure how much Luke knew yet but she had needed advice. Lorelai seemed unbiased enough. Her feelings towards Jess stayed out of it. The thought had crossed Rory's mind that she did it out of courtesy for her daughter, that she'd keep her feelings to herself until necessary.

"He isn't sure," Rory answered with a small shrug. "He doesn't want to repeat the year but I don't know what else he can do. Is he just not going to graduate high school?"

"Would that change anything?" Lorelai asked.

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

Lorelai reached out and touched her daughter's hand. "If Jess wasn't a high school graduate, would your feelings change?"

"Of course not," Rory became defensive. She moved her hand away. "I'm with Jess because I care about him. If he didn't have a diploma, it wouldn't change who he is."

"Okay," Lorelai nodded. "So if he doesn't go back and repeat the year…"

"It's his decision," Rory said. "I just - I don't want him to think he has to hide anything from me."

"I can't say for sure what Jess would do," she sighed. "He and I haven't exactly been the best of friends. But we do both care greatly for the girl sitting in front of me. That gives him quite a few points and I know me. I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship so just talk to him."

"Tomorrow," she gave a small smile thanks to her mother's words.

Lorelai nodded and wrapped an arm around Rory. "Tomorrow it is then."

…..

Later that night, Luke had closed up the diner and barged into his own apartment. Jess had been waiting for this moment since he woke up. After he and Rory finally made their way from the bridge, he came home and immediately put ice on his bruises. They hurt even more now than this morning and he was sure the walk had done it.

Luke took one look at him and visibly winced despite himself. "We need to talk."

"I know," Jess agreed. He sat up in the kitchen chair, ready.

"I'm trying to figure out which topic to start with," he began to pace. "First of all, you got into this fight last night. A fight I got a phone call about from some kid named Kyle who I never met's parents. While you were off somewhere today, I had to go over there, during my business hours and survey the damage."

"I'm sorry," Jess told him. "Dean may have started it but I fought him, too. I'm not gonna say I wish I hadn't defended myself but the whole night was a disaster."

Luke looked surprised. "I must be delusional because you just apologized."

"That wherever I went today was with Rory," he sighed. "I've had a lot to atone for today."

"Atone," he commented.

"Don't mock," Jess warned.

Luke sat down at the table with him, seriousness all over his face. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was punched and thrown around by a six foot tall giant," he joked. "I'm okay. I could be worse."

"Did Rory tell you to get checked out?" He asked.

He nodded. "She worried, but I'm fine, really. Just won't be doing much dancing for the next few days."

"What happened?" Luke wondered. "You fought with Rory and he just hit you, unprovoked?"

Jess took a deep breath and leaned forward. He clasped his hands together and began. "I drank and I was moody. The party was getting to me so I went upstairs. Rory must have been looking for me because not long after I went up there, she found me."

Luke stayed silent, to allow his nephew to continue. Any thoughts in his mind he kept to himself as he waited for the rest.

"Before long, we were -" Jess stopped himself, not entirely comfortable talking to anyone about what happened. "She pushed me away. I started yelling at her. I didn't mean to get that upset and she thought it was her. She left the room, crying and Dean was on the stairs talking to people. You could imagine what him seeing Rory coming out a bedroom, crying and me following her put in his mind. Maybe ten seconds later, the fight started."

"So you and Rory -" Luke tried.

"Nothing happened," he told him. "It could have but it didn't."

"And you yelled at Rory because it didn't?" He wondered.

Jess shook his head. "I took what was happening to me out on her, out on what did or didn't happen. It wasn't about that."

"But Dean saw her leave the upstairs bedroom and then he saw you, putting two and two together," Luke sounded out. "How long was the fight?"

"Probably only a span of minutes," Jess leaned back in his chair. "It all happened so fast and then we were out on the lawn and cops were pulling up."

"And Rory?" Luke asked.

"She saw the whole thing," Jess confided with his head down. "She yelled for us to stop. When me and Dean were broken apart, she was right there. And look on her face...she looked as broken as I felt."

Luke nodded quietly. "When did she come over?"

"After the diner was closed," he told his uncle. "And before you say anything about her staying over, that wasn't planned. I tried to tell her go home but she wouldn't."

"I'm not gonna say anything about her staying over," he confirmed. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," he said sadly.

Luke nodded and made the decision to drop the subject. "About school…"

"I can't retake the year, Luke," Jess sighed. "I can't do it."

"Then what are you going to do?" He questioned. "We had a deal, Jess. You have to graduate if you want to live here."

"So you're kicking me out?" He asked.

"I'm not kicking you out," he told him. "But, you gotta do something. When you came back, after the accident, we agreed you would go to school. And you didn't. For what? Driving a forklift? Come on, Jess."

"It was stupid, I know," he was getting frustrated at his words. "I thought I could manage."

"You could have come to me if there was something wrong," Luke said.

Jess kept his face very still. He wanted to nod or say 'i know' or something like that but he couldn't. Because really, he couldn't come to him. Not about this. He wasn't sure Luke would understand his urge to get out of this town or even to work some minimum wage job rather than go to school.

Luke knew that Jess was done by now through the silence. He stood up and touched his shoulder lightly. "We don't have to figure it out right now. Take a bit, think of what you want to do."

"Okay," Now Jess did nod. "Thanks, Luke."

His uncle gave him a small smile and walked away towards his side of the apartment. Jess put his hand in his hands. Now he just had to figure out what he wanted.

 **A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about the Rory/lorelai scene. I hope it's okay. It's the scene I had the most problem with writing for some reason.**


	3. One thing after another

**A/N: I'm not entirely sure how long this fic will go, it definitely won't be as long as my other ones but I'm so glad people like this and that I get to continue this idea a little further.**

 **I've had this document unfinished for weeks. I really wanted to get it done and published but something always stopped me. I'm sorry for taking so long, usually I write faster than this and it's been killing me to have an unfinished document saved especially one that I really want to show my readers.**

There was a clear plan set in Rory's mind. First, she was returning Lane's now cleaned backpack. At some point during the party, it became unusable but Rory knew her best friend would want her stuff back and she'd want it clean. Mrs. Kim reluctantly let her set it inside but still insisted Lane couldn't have visitors.

Rory left soon after and she had this horrible guilt for Lane. She couldn't believe all the disasters that party had caused. Even Lane, usually so together and well planned out Lane, got drunk and called her mom, spilling everything. Was there hope for anyone if Lane just spilled her biggest secret to whom it'd do the most damage?

The next part of the plan was Jess. She'd told her mom she would talk to him again tomorrow. Now tomorrow was today and out of Kim's antiques, she headed for the diner.

It was a breezy day and Rory wrapped her arms and jacket around herself. To her surprise, she was not the only one on this particular sidewalk and she was soon face to face with her ex boyfriend, Dean.

"Hi," he said calmly, as if nothing had changed over the past two days.

Rory glared at him. "I have somewhere to be."

"Rory, wait," Dean said as he reached out for her arm when she tried to brush past him.

"What, Dean?" She almost shouted and shook his hand off her.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

She scoffed. "That's an understatement."

"Is this about the party?" He asked which gained another scoff reply. "I'm sorry if that helps. I didn't mean for you to see that and -"

"Didn't mean for me to see it?" She questioned. "You hit him right in front of me, Dean! Repeatably, throughout the house."

"I did it for you," he simply said. "The jerk made you upset enough to cry and then his comment -"

Rory nodded, a serious look on her face. "So you decided I needed protection? That the only answer was to punch my boyfriend while his back was turned?"

"Rory," Dean shook his head. He couldn't deny that was what happened.

"No, Dean," she said. "You can't talk your way out of this. I know you don't like Jess, you probably even hate him - but he is my boyfriend. I care about him and that was none of your business."

"He made you cry," he pointed out.

"I'm well aware," she agreed. "Dean, how could you? Don't you know how that could make me feel? Especially - especially to watch that? Dean."

"I'm sorry," was all he could say.

"I'm not the one you need to apologise to," she said softly.

Dean looked at Rory and then to where her eyes roamed - to the diner. "No."

"Do know what crossed my mind during the fight?" She asked and he shook his head. "Of course I worried about you, you could have gotten hurt too. But I couldn't stop thinking what if Jess gave up? What if he let you keep hitting him?"

"I wouldn't -"

She cut him off. "You could. He walked away and he hit him."

"You were crying!" Dean defended. "You walked out a bedroom at a party, crying and he was behind you. What was I supposed to do?"

"Nothing," she answered easily.

"What?" He was stunned.

"You were supposed to do nothing," Rory explained. "Whatever did or didn't happen in that room was me and Jess' business, not yours. Starting that fight could have made things ten times worse. You can't apologize your way out of this, Dean."

"Come on," he said. "You can't mean that."

"I can and I do," she told him. Her face relaxed and softened at the same time. "I consider you someone important to me, Dean. But if you are still having a hard time accepting that Jess is my boyfriend or in my life, then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"You don't mean that," he replied.

"And I didn't think Jess could be right when I accused him of getting into a fight with you and he said what if you sucker punched him?" She shot back. "Things change."

She began to walk away and went past Dean. He shook his head and turned, his eyes followed her. "Rory."

She didn't reply but instead she kept on her walk. Dean watched until she was too far away before he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away himself.

….

Most of the day had passed before Jess returned to the diner. He saw Rory talking to Dean earlier and by the looks of it, she looked angry. That whole party had been a disaster for him and Dean had added to it. To know Rory was still on his side was a good feeling.

Luke came into the apartment soon after and asked him to run an errand. He seemed off and weird but Jess agreed because he wanted to prove to Luke that he was right about him. The errand was a few towns over and apparently consisted of getting deliveries that hadn't come on time.

Jess was confused by it but he just went along with it. Luke explained to him that it was stuff he needed for the diner and he needed it soon. After a few hours away, Luke called and asked him to stop by an appliance store because he needed a new blender. It got even more confusing in Jess' mind and by the time he exited the appliance store, he had a feeling his uncle was trying to keep him out of Stars Hollow.

The first thought that went across his mind was Rory. Maybe he wanted to keep Jess away from his girlfriend despite that they had talked through most of what they needed to. They were supposed to meet up today too and before Jess had left, he told Luke so. Luke promised to tell Rory and sent his nephew on his way.

He just couldn't figure out why he'd try to keep him and Rory apart. Luke had always been their biggest supporter. The idea puzzled him all the way home, supplies in the back as his uncle wished. Jess walked into the diner almost excited and headed upstairs. He planned on going to see Rory as soon as he could but was stopped by the sight before him.

Luke stood beside a man who vaguely resembled Jess. He blinked twice and walked forward. "Luke?"

The mysterious man stepped forward. "Hi, Jess."

"Hi, man I've never met before," he stated. "Who is this?"

Like didn't answer but instead the man did. "I'm your father."

Now Jess turned to look at him. "My father is a deadbeat bum who left my mom the day I was born."

"Then I guess, what I mean to say is 'Hi, I'm the deadbeat bum who left the day you were born'," he said. "But most people call me Jimmy."

"I was against this," Luke finally spoke. "He came last night and I told him to leave. But today he came back and I hoped he'd get the picture that he wasn't welcome but I guess not."

The man who claimed to be Jess' father smirked. He recognized it as his own. "I told him I wanted to see my son and that he wasn't going to stop me."

"And then what?" Jess asked. "After you see me, then what?"

"I guess that was up to you," he replied. "What would you want?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"You don't have to decide now," Jimmy explained. "I'm gonna be in town for a few days. You have time."

He handed Jess something, a piece of paper with where he was staying on it then left. Jess didn't even look at the paper before he stuffed it into his pocket. Thoughts crossed through his mind, none coherent enough to focus on.

Luke watched him, conflicted. "I told him to leave at first. I didn't think you'd want to see him. But then he came back and I thought maybe you should decide for yourself."

"I don't even know what I'd decide, to be honest," Jess shook his head.

Luke nodded understandably. "That's fine. Take your time."

"Thanks," Jess sighed and walked over to his bed. He turned back, a question on his mind. "You told Rory where I was today? She wanted to talk and I don't want her thinking I bailed just to get out of it."

"I told her," Luke answered.

Jess just nodded this time. Luke told him he had to get back to work downstairs and that if Jess needed it, he didn't need to work tonight. It was up to him. Without thinking, he grabbed the phone and dialed his mother's number. Of course, Liz didn't answer but they didn't stop him from leaving a message.

"Hi, mom," he put an emphasis on the second word. "How are you? I'm great, just dandy. You know who showed up today in this Mary Poppins town? My father. You remember him? He left when I was a baby, left me to be raised by you and pot and whatever boyfriend of the week you had."

He took a deep breath then continued. "The thing I can't figure out is how did he find me? When he left, you were in New York. You'd think he went to New York right? But why come here? I think he found you and you told him. Did you tell him? It's the part that's killing me the most."

"I keep thinking you wouldn't do that but I thought you wouldn't do a lot of things," he went on. "I thought you wouldn't marry that douchebag with the violent temper, steal pot with another, leave me alone for days in the apartment when I was ten years old. So I'm asking and I really hope you call back with an answer."

He hung up abruptly and slammed the phone down as hard as he could without breaking it. His mind clouded with too many thoughts and he needed all night to process them.

…..

Rory leaned back on her pillows with a sigh. She hated to think she was miserable because her boyfriend didn't call - again, especially - but she was. It wasn't just the not talking, though. It was something else.

It had been three days since their talk on the bridge. She had so much more she wanted to talk to him about, especially what had happened at the party. Rory wanted him to know that him not graduating didn't change how she felt about him but it seemed like he was never around. If he was, he was working which wasn't an ideal time to talk either.

Luke had explained to her that something new happened, that she should wait for Jess to talk about it. That plagued her more than anything else. What else had happened? Why hadn't he talked to her about it? Rory knew if she pushed, more damage might happen than good but she needed to know. What if this new thing was the thing to break them for good?

Instead of wondering and waiting, she headed out. Her mom was at work and Lane had her own problems going on but at least she wasn't banned from the outside world anymore. She even briefly told her that Mrs Kim might let her go to prom with Dave.

It was still early in the day, Chilton being let out early. It was times like this that she wished she went to Stars Hollow High though. It'd be a lot more helpful if she had been around. Her feet took her to the diner where through the window, she saw Jess.

A small smile appeared on her face as she watched her boyfriend. She'll take whatever time she can get with him right now.

The door chimed above her when she made her way inside. The diner wasn't too crowded and Luke gave her a small smile of his own. Rory waved at him as she found her way to an empty table. Behind the counter, Luke motioned for Jess to take her order. He must have known Jess hadn't talked to Rory in days.

Finally, he made his way to her, coffee pot and mug in hand. Jess poured her a cup and after a glance around, he sat down. "I'm sorry I haven't been around."

Rory shook it off. "Luke said you were dealing with some stuff."

"That's definitely true," he agreed. "I wanted to tell you. I think I needed to process it for myself first."

"What is it?" She asked curiously. "If that's okay?"

"It's okay," he said but didn't expand. "I have a break coming up soon. I wanna tell you, just not here."

"Okay," she replied.

Jess gave her a small smile - he looked just like Luke had seconds earlier. "Okay."

Jess got up from the table and grabbed back the pit of coffee. He saw Rory pout and almost laughed. It was adorable. She watched as he walked away and hoped this break was immediately so she wouldn't have to wait much longer.


	4. New York

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my amazing friend, Yota who I meet through the Gilmore girls fandom. Happy belated present birthday, you are one of my favorite people in the world and I hope you like this.**

Rory stayed put at her table in the diner. She watched as Jess served customers and shared glances with Luke. He seemed to know more than her about what was going on. She was glad he knew at least.

When the clock hit a certain time, Jess walked over to Luke. Rory wasn't sure why but it seemed like he had been waiting for it. Maybe it was time for his break after all. They went upstairs and about a minute later, both came back down the stairs.

It was about fifteen minutes since Rory arrived at Luke's and in that time, she had coffee and a burger. She prepared herself to wait a while but when Jess approached her, she saw he had keys in his hand.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?" He asked her.

Rory nodded. "Yeah. Sure."

Jess nodded at Luke as Rory stood up. He opened the door for her and they were out. They walked past Luke's truck and Rory frowned. He kept his pace as he turned the corner and went behind the diner. Once there, it made sense.

"You got your car back?" Rory gasped as she looked at it parked behind the diner, as if it was never gone.

"Luke took it," he shrugged and opened the door for her.

"What?" She almost did another gasp while she climbed inside. " _Luke_ took it?"

Jess opened his own door and sat down, the engine started as soon as he could. "He gave it back to me a few days ago. He took it when he realized I was driving to Walmart instead of going to school."

"And you're okay with that?" She asked.

Another shrug. "Not at first. I was pissed off, actually. But I know why he did it and considering everything else going on, that's the least of my worries."

"And what else is going on?" She asked.

Jess smirked as he turned out of the spot and onto the roads. "You'll find out soon."

"Where are we going?" She tried another question.

"Do you have to be back by a certain time, you'd think?" He asked.

Rory shook her head. "I'd have to tell my mom I won't be home but it'd be fine. Why?"

"I'm taking you to New York," he said simply.

"New York?!" She definitely gasped again this time. "We can't go to New York, Jess."

"I have to show you something," he told her. "It connects with what I want to tell you."

"Okay," Rory leaned back in her seat as she watched the scenery of Stars Hollow go by. She wasn't going to argue or tell him no, especially not if he was willing to open up to her.

…..

Lorelai arrived home at about 3 pm. She opened and closed the door loudly and called out for her daughter. When she was met with no response, she looked around the house. The first room she checked was Rory's room. The living room had been empty but Rory's room looked like someone had been home.

Her school stuff was on her desk, her uniform on a hook by the closet. Lorelai saw her shoes that she'd wear outside of school were gone too. Instead of wondering much longer, Lorelai grabbed the phone. She dialed Rory's number by instant and waited as it rang.

There was no answer and as she listened to the rings, she had an idea. Quickly, she put the phone back in its cradle and checked the messages instead. Sure enough, it told her she had a voicemail.

Immediately, she listened to it. Rory's hesitant, slow voice came on which didn't ease any of Lorelai's thoughts. "Hi, Mom. I wasn't sure which I was more nervous about - getting you or your voicemail but here goes. Me and Jess are going out of town and I'm not sure what time I'll be back. Don't worry. I'm fine and he said he needs to show me something. I'll see you soon. I love you. Bye."

Then the line cut off and asked if she wanted to save the message or delete it. Lorelai hit the save button and grabbed her purse.

The walk to Luke's was not long. However, the place was crowded. Lorelai finally spotted Luke when he came out of the backroom and instantly went up to him.

"Where is Jess?" She asked immediately and loudly.

Luke swerved through the people. "He went out."

"Yes, I know," she let out a dry chuckle. "And he took my only child with him. Where is he?"

Luke sighed, not wanting to be the one to tell her exactly where they went. "Rory didn't tell you?"

"Rory left me a cryptic message saying they went out of town and Jess wanted to show her something," she admitted. "Which, to be honest, doesn't exactly ease my mom worries."

"Not here," he grabbed her arm and brought her upstairs with him.

Once inside the apartment, Luke shut the door behind him. Lorelai crossed her arms. "Okay. Where are they?"

"They're in New York," Luke answered.

"Excuse me?" She was stunned. "New York? As in New York City?"

He nodded once. "Yeah."

"And no one thought - 'hey, Jess is taking my daughter past state lines and a toll booth, maybe we should tell lorelai'?" she wondered.

"Lorelai, she's perfectly safe," he said. "Nothing is going to happen."

Lorelai almost scoffed. "That's exactly what someone says before something happens."

"Is this because you don't trust Jess?" He asked. "Because he wouldn't let anything happen to Rory, Lorelai. I know he wouldn't."

"It's funny because you say that but last year, when Rory got into the one and only car accident she's ever been in…" Lorelai said. "Jess was the one at the wheel."

"He didn't cause that accident, Lorelai," he told her.

"But he didn't stop it either," she replied.

"He waited until he knew she was all right," he explained. "If he hadn't cared, he'd have run off much sooner and if it wasn't for me, Rory wouldn't have felt like he left without telling her because I sent him on that bus."

Lorelai took a step back. She began to see Luke's point of view, the guilt. "I'm sorry about that night. I never should have screamed at you like that or lessened how you must have felt."

"It's long over now," he said and meant it. The past was past and they moved forward from that fight by now. "What isn't is what's going on now and Rory is safe, you have my word."

"And if she's not?" She whispered.

"She will be," he told her. "Jess has some stuff going on right now and he wanted to tell her about it, that's all."

"I appreciate that he's not hiding stuff from her anymore, I do," she took a breath. "But did he need to take her to New York City to tell her?"

"For his own reasons, yeah," he sided with his nephew.

Lorelai nodded. "Okay. I'm not fully on board with this idea but I trust Rory and she trusts Jess and you trust Jess - I guess I will try to trust him, too."

Luke smiled at her, a small one. She gave him a small one back and he decided maybe it was time to distract her thoughts. "What do you say we go back to the diner and I get you some coffee?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied as they headed out the door.

…..

Rory felt free. She couldn't exactly explain it but she felt different than usual. She watched as the sights outside her window turned into the city with amazement. It was so pretty and she couldn't take her eyes off it. The few moments that she had were used to look over at Jess. He seemed focused on the road ahead, oblivious to his surroundings.

She watched him with concentration. Rory couldn't remember the last time he looked so focused. There was always something that seemed to weigh on his mind and she could never figure out what. For the moment, she took advantage of looking at him.

The thing she first noticed when she met Jess was how he looked. Whenever you meet someone, that's all you know. You don't know their personality or their interests. But she knew Jess was cute, more than cute. He'd be embarrassed if he knew she thought this but she actually thought he was kind of beautiful.

There was a hard look about him though. A painful one. Rory didn't know what had happened before he came to Stars Hollow but she was sure it was the cause. A part of her always wondered how much of that pain had been caused by his own mother.

They drove into a less than desirable neighborhood with run down buildings. Rory looked out her window curiously, sure that this was just a passing point before Jess got to his destination.

However, she was proven wrong when less than two minutes later, Jess pulled into a spot beside one of the buildings. She looked at her boyfriend, questions etched over her face and asked the first that came to mind. "What are we doing here?"

"This is where I grew up," Jess answered as he got out of the car.

Rory took another look at the building then got out. "Really?"

"Really," he nodded, a small half smirk on his face. "Liz couldn't afford much but this being New York City, it's kinda hard to live somewhere that isn't expensive. So we had to make do and this is where we were."

"It's so…" she cut herself off.

"Shitty?" He provided with a laugh. "It actually is but the people were all right."

"I'm the last person to judge," Rory said. They now stood side by side and she felt bad for her assumption. "I grew up in a shed for the first part of my life."

"It's okay," he shrugged before he grabbed her hand. "Come on. Let's go inside."

"Inside?" She questioned as he pulled her towards the entrance. "We can go in?"

Jess laughed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him laugh so much. "I know a guy. Come on."

He left her inside and watched her carefully. Rory took in her surroundings one by one. The building wasn't all bad. It looked much worse on the outside but it still didn't seem like someplace you'd go to raise your kid.

It was while she wasn't looking at him that Jess winced. He knew the elevator wouldn't work just as it hadn't over the years. They'd have to take the stairs up and he began to prepare himself for the walk. His bruises definitely looked better after a few days. But every so often, he'd move just the wrong way and remember how horrible it is to move.

"This way," he instructed. Rory followed, her hand latched in his own as she trailed slightly behind. She tried to let him lead but was very curious to see where mini Jess had grown up.

By the time they made it to the fifth floor, Jess panted way more than necessary. He let go of his girlfriend's hand and held his arm around his stomach. The pain hurt but not worse than he thought it would.

Rory watched him helplessly. "You didn't tell me it still hurts."

"It still hurts," he smirked at her. "Rory, I'm fine. Really. Just after this past week, stairs are a little harder than I thought they'd be.

"Are you sure?" She questioned.

He nodded. "I'm fine."

Rory bit her lip in consideration. "How far are we?"

"We're on the right floor," he told her, glad for the subject change. "It's down that way."

Rory looked in the direction Jess pointed his head towards. "Which one?"

"I'll let you know," he stood up straight and took her hand again. Together, he walked her down the hallway and they came to a stop at the third door on the left.

Jess knocked and Rory was even more confused. Was he friends with the new tenants of his old apartment? The door opened to show a dark skinned male, about jess' age or at least a year difference. He seemed ready to confront whoever was on the other end until he saw Jess.

"Mariano!" He exclaimed. "I never expected to see you again."

Jess laughed and surprised Rory by greeting him with what's considered a man hug. "Hey, Daryl. Long time, no see."

"That may be more your fault, don't you think?" Daryl replied.

"Maybe," he agreed and moved slightly aside. "This is Rory. Rory, meet Daryl Jones. We were next door neighbors growing up."

"Hi," Rory said, shy. She didn't know what this had to do what was happening but she kept quiet. Jess was opening up to her in his own way and she didn't want to get in the way of that.

"Girlfriend?" Daryl raised an eyebrow approvingly.

Jess nodded. "Yeah. She is."

Daryl nodded back even more approvingly than his expression five seconds earlier. "I'm guessing you didn't just come back to introduce your girlfriend, though."

"No, we didn't," Jess sighed, ready for whatever he had to say next. "Is she here?"

"Nah, she's out," he replied. "I haven't seen her here all day."

Jess seemed worried now. "Any idea where she is?"

"Who are you talking about?" Rory asked but neither answered her.

"Didn't you know?" Daryl asked. "She got a new job last month. Supposed to be cleaning up her act."

"She doesn't exactly keep me up to date on things," he said humorlessly. "When does she usually get back?"

"Night," he replied. "You'll be good to go in."

"Thanks, man," Jess told him. "I'll visit again, I promise."

"You better," Daryl told him and laughed. He closed the door and Jess laughed too.

"Who is she?" Rory tried again. Jess gave her a look and she connected his earlier words. "Your mom still lives here?"

"Yep," he said as he brought her over to the next apartment door. Out of his pocket, he took out a key and slid it into the door. It opened smoothly and he instructed her inside.

"You still have a key to your mom's apartment?" She asked when he shut the door.

Jess shrugged. "I guess I never gave it back. When I got the idea to bring you here, I looked for it and hoped I didn't lose it."

"Why did you bring me here?" She wondered. "Not that I don't appreciate knowing more about your past but...I don't know what this has to do with whatever it is you want to tell me is going on."

Jess took a deep breath and motioned for her to sit down. Rory took one look around the main room of the apartment - it wasn't big, there was a small living room and a small kitchen then three doors, probably his mother's room, his and the bathroom. She went to sit on the couch and waited.

"My dad came to Stars Hollow," he said.

Rory's mouth dropped. "What?"

"You remember that day when Luke sent me out of town on errands and we were supposed to meet up?" She nodded. "He sent me out because my dad was here. I guess he was trying to make me not so blindsided about it but I was no matter what because where the hell has the guy been the last eighteen years, right?"

"Oh my God, Jess," she said.

"I spent the last three days trying to figure out what any of it means," he went on. "And I wanted to know what was going on and where my head was before I talked to you."

"So where is your head now?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I still don't know, to be honest. This guy left when I was a baby. He just walked out the day I was born. What kind of person does that? Then just shows back up as soon as they're an adult?"

"My dad floated in and out of my life," Rory said. "Not in the same way as yours but I can understand a little bit."

He sat down beside her. "It still counts. Jeez, why are our fathers such shit?"

"Maybe it's one of the reasons we're connected," she laughed lightly.

Jess laughed along with her. "The sad thing is that could be true."

Rory leaned herself closer to him until her chin was on his shoulder and her arm was between his own arm and his body. "What are you going to do?"

He shrugged the side she wasn't up against. "I haven't figured that part out yet."

"Is he still here?" She wondered.

"He said he'd be in town a few days," he answered. "But who knows? The guy doesn't have the most reliable track record."

"I think you should talk to him," she snuggled closer. "Ask him why he left, why he came to find you. I think the only way you'll be able to move on or do anything about it, really, is if you have answers."

"You're right," he agreed and turned to her, planting a kiss on her hair. She smiled against his shoulder. "I just - I don't know how to talk to him."

She smirked. "Because of the monosyllabic thing?"

"Because he left," he clarified though he appreciated Rory trying to make it light.

She nodded in understanding. She may not know exactly how Jess felt but she knew how she felt about her own father barely being around. "I still think you should try. It won't hurt to try, will it?"

"Maybe," he sighed.

Rory reached up and ran her fingers through his hair then kissed his cheek softly. "I don't know if it helps but I'm here, for anything. I'm not going anywhere."

"You mean I haven't scared you away yet?" He turned to her with a smirk.

"No," she smiled with her lips closed and a head shake. "You haven't scared me away."

Their faces were so close. Intensity hung in the air, their eyes stared into each other's. It was Rory who moved forward first, her lips crashed to his in the most delicate way. He was too afraid to make the first move after the other night at the party but she wasn't.

Jess' hands came to her face. They held onto either side of her face, to her cheeks as they reddened with flush. Her hands wrapped around his back as she pulled him closer to her.

The kiss deepened. Rory leaned backwards on the couch and Jess hovered over her, his mind not yet clicking on what was happening. Rory's fingers gripped at the bottom of his shirt. She tried to inch it up and something in Jess' head told him to stop her.

He pulled apart first, heavy pants from his chest. "We can't do this."

She looked at him curiously. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want you doing anything you'd regret," he admitted as he sat up.

"Is this about the party?" Rory asked. "Because that was differ -"

"It's not about the party," he sighed. "It's about me and you. I know what everyone thinks of me. They think I'm not good enough for you, especially not after Dean. I don't want to be something you look back on and wish it hadn't been me."

"But I want it to be you," she confessed. "I've even told my mom I want it to be you."

"That doesn't mean you should," he said.

"You know me, Jess," she continued. "You know I think things out and make pro/con lists and that I would never do something just because I think I should. You really think I haven't thought it out before telling my mom?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But it would make sense why Lorelai has had more of a watch eye on me lately."

Rory laughed but then turned serious. "I mean it. I don't want it to be anyone else, I don't want anyone else, period."

Jess nodded at her, not fully in control of his own actions. He didn't even register when he began to lean forward again. Rory wasn't sure either but she leaned herself closer, too, their lips collided on impact.

The kiss was soft at first. It was almost chaste. It was Rory who deepened it first, her mouth held his lips to hers almost in a desperation. Jess leaned back down over her without breaking the kiss. The couch was lumpy and old and comfortable.

Jess broke the kiss for a moment to readjust. His girlfriend eyed him curiously. He didn't say anything - instead he put his hands under Rory and moved her down. Her head now laid on the cushions instead of the couch arm and instantly she felt better.

She pulled him back towards her again with the same urgency. Something clicked in Jess' head again and he pulled back.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked, as she looked right into his face.

"This is my mom's couch," he said. "The couch where whenever she was gone or out with a new guy, I'd sit here and watch TV until she came back and I had to hide in my room."

"Oh," she said and sat up as best as she could. Jess sat up beside her too and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he admitted. "I did it twice."

"No," she shook her head and let out a small laugh. "I actually understand this time."

Jess looked over at her. Her hair was messy and her lips were swollen. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful. "We should go."

"Right," she agreed. "But first, could you - could I see your room?"

Jess nodded and reached out for her hand. She took it without a second thought and together, they stood up. He walked to one of the doors and slid it open. It was messy and obviously had not been touched in two years.

Rory looked around and saw nothing that reminded her of the Jess she saw before her today. She nodded to him and he nodded back. A silent exchange just for them. His hand tightened on hers as he shut first the door to the bedroom then the front door to the apartment.

…..

Jess handed Rory a hot dog on the street corner and paid for their food. She smiled gratefully at her boyfriend but something nagged on her mind.

Jess turned to her and motioned for them to walk. She asked herself the questions in her head to be sure they weren't disrespectful. He grabbed her hand as they raced across the street to the other side and when they stopped on the sidewalk, she turned to him, hand still in his.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked.

"Sure," he replied distractedly as he made their way through the pedestrians.

"Why take me to your old apartment?" She wondered. "I know you said because your dad came back but why not just tell me?"

Jess risked a glance at her and then took a deep breath. "Because I wanted you to see where we lived. I don't know if him being around would have made it any better. Hell, it could have been worse for all I know. But it felt like you should see where I last lived with my mom to understand it."

Rory stopped walking and people made their way around her. She smiled at him softly. "Thank you."

"For what?" He seemed confused.

"For telling me all of this," she shrugged. "For taking me here."

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

Rory laughed. "Now take me home before I suggest going somewhere and getting turned down again."

He laughed lightly with her but didn't entirely feel funny. Her words stung at him and he almost regretted the rejection. Somehow, he knew he was right this once but her words hung on him.

She, however, didn't seem bothered by it. Her tone had been teasing and she was smiling brightly. When Jess saw Rory smile like that, it was hard for him to feel bad. She tugged on his arm and clasped her hand tighter into his. They began their walk again, almost oblivious to anyone else who isn't the other.


	5. Future Plans

**A/N: I'm so SO sorry for the delay. As usual, my excuse is work but this week I finally started writing and of course, I got sick. Still kinda am but I'm determined. Also, I'm getting right to the graduation because that is something I really wanted to get to. This is probably short bit I also wanted to get something out which is hopefully better than nothing. There isn't much left I think. This was started as a small story and not a full, long fic. I'd love to explore it more if I had the right way to do it. So far, I just know these moments and what I wanna do. I also have a season four idea for this au. Either it will be a "this time later" thing in this fic or a sequel. We'll see.**

Lorelai quickly ran back to her seat on the couch as soon as she heard the car door shut. She grabbed a magazine and flipped to a random page where she found an article about cleaning. Not believable, she thought to herself as she flipped to a different one.

The front door clicked as a key turned and then the door opened. Lorelai pretended to be indifferent and didn't turn to watch as Rory walked inside the house.

"Hi, Mom," Rory said as she came in the same room as her mother.

Lorelai finally turned. "Oh, hey. You're home?"

"Yeah," she answered suspiciously. "Jess just dropped me off."

"Oh, that's good," she nodded and went back to her magazine.

Rory's eyebrows rose curiously as she went to sit on the single chair near the stairs. "You mean you haven't been waiting for me? You don't mind I went to New York - or that I went with Jess - especially without giving you a heads up first?"

Lorelai shrugged and put down her reading material. "I'll admit I have been waiting. Just a little bit. But I also had a talk with Luke earlier."

Rory waited patiently. She didn't want to erupt whatever calm her mother had over her impromptu trip out of state with her boyfriend. Especially when she knew how one Lorelai Gilmore felt about Jess Mariano.

"Luke trusts Jess," she started. "I've never really known much about the progress in their relationship or the situation but somehow, along the way, Luke started to trust Jess. And Luke loves you, Rory. If he felt you were in danger in any way, even with Jess, he wouldn't have been so calm."

Her voice stopped and Rory waited a moment again before asking. "So what does that mean? Do you trust Jess now?"

"I'm not entirely sure I'm there myself yet," she let out a small laugh and Rory smiled at the humor on her face. "But I know that Jess, despite my and this town's opinions on him, wants what's best for you. He wouldn't hurt you...on purpose. And I think knowing how much he cares about you made me okay."

"Wow," Rory said, surprised.

"I know," Lorelai mirrored. "All grown up, huh?"

Rory laughed and came over to the couch her mom sat on. She sat beside her and her face turned serious. "Jess had more things go wrong in his life than I thought, Mom."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Rory took a moment before she shook her head. "I'm not sure that I could. It's Jess' thing, not mine. I don't know if he'd want me to."

"Okay," she agreed and she meant it. She wasn't going to push her daughter to talk about what's going on with her boyfriend. If Rory wanted to talk about it, she'd tell her. "Are you okay with all of it?"

"Honestly?" She said. "I'm not sure. I always assumed Jess had gotten in trouble before his mom sent him here. That's what it seemed like. But now...I feel like I don't actually know him the same way as I thought I did. But almost like I could understand him more. Does that make sense?"

"A little bit," Lorelai replied with a small smile.

"He opened up to me, Mom," Rory smiled but it quickly faded. "After the party I thought...I thought it was over. I thought I lost him."

"But you didn't," Lorelai put her hand on her daughter's.

"I just hope that he doesn't go back to how things were before," she sighed. "Today was...really good. I really want it to stay like this."

"Then you'll just have to make sure it does, won't you?" Lorelai countered to which Rory nodded, hopeful that she could try.

…..

Days passed as did Prom. Rory said nothing but Jess saw through her act. He knew she wasn't okay and silently he wished she'd at least talk to Lane about it.

As the Chilton graduation approached, there was a visible excitement to Rory. Most of the time, her head was buried in her textbooks as she studied for finals. But it was almost as if a weight was being lifted off of her shoulders.

It was as if they were in their own world ever since New York. Their relationship felt stronger than it ever had and Dean, after the fight, was no longer a factor. He steered clear of Jess which meant he no longer talked to Rory. She was sad about it. He once was important enough to her to love but she'd accepted that if he couldn't be happy for her, it might be for the best.

Luke had loosened the reigns a little bit, too. His every ten minutes rule had now turned to twenty. There was a part of his mind that reminded him what he might be allowing but he also knew something had shifted between Rory and Jess. He wasn't as afraid of what could happen anymore.

Rory's Chilton graduation was two days away and together, they sat in the apartment above the diner. She sat on his bed, a highlighter in her hand as it hovered over the text in front of her. All of her finals were finished but she was Rory. She couldn't stop reading.

Jess smiled softly at her while she wasn't looking. Her forehead crinkled in concentration and he wondered what she was thinking.

"You know, once you finish all your finals," he said. "You don't have to study anymore."

Rory looked up from the book on front of her, a playful smile on her face. "I'm preparing."

"I thought you were supposed to be getting ready for your last summer before college," Jess countered just as playful.

"I will," she nodded. "After I prepare for Yale."

"I think it's safe to say you prepared for eighteen years for Yale," he sat up straighter in his chair. "You did get in. You must have done something right."

"I know…" she let out a breath. "But I don't want to lose track. Just because I'm already in doesn't mean I should stop."

"It means exactly that," he told her. "Come on. What about Europe? You gonna study the whole time?"

"Actually, I was planning on missing you the entire time," she smiled but the sadness was behind it.

Jess stood up as he noticed where the playful conversation was going. "Hey. What did I tell you when you told me about this trip?"

"That it's me and my mom's last summer before I go away to school," she sighed, obviously having had to repeat his words before. "That I should use that time before I go to spend time with her."

"Exactly," he said as he stood in front her now.

Rory put the highlighter down and faced him. "But you're my boyfriend. It doesn't feel right to spend three months away from you either before I leave."

He smiled at her. "As much as I love that you consider me nearly as important as your mom, you know I'm right."

She sighed in defeat. "I know. And you are right. I just wish you weren't."

He kissed her hair then sat down beside her. She turned to face him better. "I wish that, too."

"Can I sneak you into my carry on?" She joked.

"I don't think a carry on would fit me," he laughed.

"Probably not," she gave a small laugh as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "We're gonna talk every day."

"We'll talk soon much that you'll get sick of me," he confirmed as he put his hands on her lower back.

"Impossible," she shook her head.

"Debatable," Jess replied.

He leaned in closer, a lingering kiss left on Rory's lips. Her briefly closed eyes opened as he pulled away. Her mind started thinking about how much she would miss him this summer but also about what he said about why he had been working so much. The plan to get an apartment near Harvard sounded loud in her head.

"Jess?"

"Hmm?"

"What are your thoughts now on coming to Yale with me?" She asked hesitantly.

"Like right now?" She nodded. "I think it might be boring because their year is wrapping up."

Rory laughed and shook her head twice. "No. I mean, what are you thinking now about it? Is it a consideration?"

Jess' expression changed as he began to see her question. She watched carefully, waiting. "I...I don't know."

"You don't know if you want to be with me?" She questioned. Her arms loosened around his neck but stayed in place.

"No," he said adamantly. "That is the one thing I do know."

"Then what?" She asked.

Jess sighed. "I'm not sure I have the money. Even if I wanted to, it'd be hard to get the money in time."

"What if I could get you the money in time?" She countered.

"How?" He asked suspiciously.

"My grandparents," she almost whispered but when she saw her boyfriend's eyes go wide, she knew he heard her.

"Your grandparents," he stated. "As in the grandfather who never met me and the grandmother who think I'm a thug? Why would they give money for an apartment to move closer to my girlfriend?"

"Because, what if…" she trailed off but within seconds, regained her voice. "What if you weren't the only person the apartment was for?"

"You mean, like a roommate?" He asked.

"Yeah,a roommate," she nodded. "Or a girlfriend."

Jess' eyes went wide for the second time within minutes. His thoughts couldn't process what exactly she had told him even though he knew what she meant. He stayed silent as he absorbed her suggestion.

When he still said nothing, Rory pleaded. "Say something. Please."

"I'm processing," he said. After a few more seconds, he spoke again. "You want to move in with me?"

"I think so," she answered.

"Think?" He wondered. "If you're not sure -"

"I only say think because it's a new idea," she added. "I haven't had time to fully process it, either."

He wasn't sure what to say exactly. Somewhere in him, he knew it could be a mistake. Rory belonged in a dorm. She shouldn't have to worry about him or be chained to him in any way in case things go bad.

"I…" he tried. "I don't know."

"Oh," she said. Her arms fell from around him this time while his hand stayed on her.

"I'm not saying no," he defended.

"But it's not a yes, either," she added.

"I don't think it's a good idea," he told her. When he saw the look on her face, he felt the need to explain. "Rory, you're going to Yale in a few months. You should be experiencing college life and part of that is a dorm and roommates."

"Is this your way to break up with me?" She asked him.

"No," he stated in all seriousness.

"Then why?" She shook her head, a confused expression on her face. "Is it because we haven't slept together? What?"

His face fell. He couldn't believe that was the conclusion she had jumped to. "This has nothing to do with sex."

"Then tell me," Rory urged. "What could possibly be so bad about you and me living together?"

He had a lot of reasons, ranging from not wanting her to make a mistake to his self made and not so self made doubts. He still had difficulty opening up even after New York even though he had gotten better at it.

"Jess?" She worried now. His resistance to answer had her mind filled with negativity.

Jess shook his head, to shake it all out. "I don't know, Rory."

"It's just an idea," she said thoughtfully. "There's nothing that says we have to move in together or that you have to come to Yale with me."

Jess tightened his hold on her. "Rory, there's nothing more I want than to be with you. Whether it's here in this crazy town or away in a off campus apartment with you."

"But?" She waited.

"Not but," he shook his head again. "I just wanna be sure it'd be what you want."

Rory smiled softly at him, her hand caressed his face. "I want to be with you."

"Okay," he whispered, a small smile of his own to match hers.

…..

Jess had been just about to grab his car keys when the phone rang. Luke was downstairs in the diner and he figured it could be important. He walked in the opposite direction of the door picked it up. "Hello?"

"Jesse?" The voice on the other end asked. His face paled and he instantly regretted picking up the phone. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Liz, it's me. Do you need anything? I was just heading out."

"I'll be quick then," Liz Danes replied. There was quiet on the other end and he waited for his mother to continue. "I didn't return your call."

"No, you didn't," he agreed. "Does that mean I was right? It was you?"

Liz sighed. "I didn't know he'd come to see you."

Jess nodded to himself. Of course she didn't think that. "Then what did you expect? He comes looking for his abandoned son and you tell him where I am and be just forgets about it?"

"I was hoping," she answered. "Jimmy was terrified of Luke. I didn't see any reason why he wouldn't still be."

"He didn't seem terrified as he stood side by side Luke and ambushed me," he countered.

"Jess, I am so sor -"

"Save it," he cut her off. "I don't want to hear how you had my best intentions in mind when you told the man who left me voluntarily when I was a baby where I live."

Liz sniffed, the first signal that she had begun to cry. "I was trying to tell him you were doing better. That you were with someone who can finally take care of you the way you should have been."

"That's the thing, though," he commented. "I'm not doing better, Liz."

"What?" She seemed surprised. "But what about your girlfriend? Or graduation?"

"Things are better with my relationship but I guess you didn't hear I'm not graduating," he replied.

"Why aren't you graduating?" She almost exclaimed.

"You don't get to do that," he accused.

"Do what?" Liz asked.

"Change the subject from what you did to what I did," Jess said. "We're not done with that. The one thing you ever did good for me was send me to Luke. I may not have thought so when you did it but it was. And now you upset the good you've done by telling my father - _Jimmy_ \- where I am. Do you know how blindsided I was to see him?"

"No," she sniffed. "You have to believe me, Jess. I didn't know he'd come to Stars Hollow. I thought he'd hear where you were and realize what a mistake it would be."

Jess scoffed a laugh. "Well, either you're dumb for believing that or he's dumb for coming anyway."

"Jess," she said, hurt by his words.

"I'm not gonna play nice," he replied.

"I know," she agreed. "And you shouldn't. I did a stupid thing and I'm sorry. You have to know how sorry I am, Jess."

"I think you are sorry," he told her. "I also think you don't know the extent of the damage. But I guess you never really did, did you?"

"That's not fair," Liz replied back.

"Neither was my childhood but it is what it is," Jess shrugged. "Look, I got to go. Thanks for calling, I guess. It's good to know my expectations never need to change."

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"It'll pass," he simply answered.

…..

"Mom!"

Rory looked frantically around her bedroom. She couldn't remember where her graduation speech had disappeared to. Ever since she had been announced Valedictorian instead of Paris, she'd been determined to make a meaningful speech. And she had, if only she could find it.

"What?" Lorelai asked her daughter as she rushed down the stairs. "What is it?"

"I can't find it!" She exclaimed. "I've looked everywhere!"

"What's it?" Lorelai questioned once she got to the room.

"My Valedictorian speech!" Rory yelled. "I could have sworn I had it here last."

"Well, what about the diner?" she asked. "You have been over there quite a lot lately."

"I remember bringing it home," she shook her head.

"Then where else could it be if not here and there?" Lorelai sat on the bed.

Rory sighed. "I don't know! I just had it. I have to find it."

"You will," she promised. "Just take a deep breath, calm down."

"I can't calm down!" Rory replied. "Graduation is so close! I have no time to write another one!"

"Hey, relax," Lorelai reached out and grabbed Rory's hands. "You will find the speech. Just think. Where do you last physically remember seeing it?"

Rory traced through her memories. Earlier in Luke's apartment clicked to her, when she had asked Jess to move in with her. She didn't want to tell her mom about that, not yet at least.

"I think I know where," she told her.

"Great!" Lorelai beamed. "So go find it and I'm sure it will be there."

"Thanks, Mom," Rory smiled and headed out the door.

It was pretty much nighttime by now. The sky had darkened and there were few people out. The walk to the diner was never so bad so she curled her arms to her chest, thankful she had grabbed a jacket.

Her graduation was the day after tomorrow. Still on a somewhat tense note, her grandparents would be there with her mom. She'd hoped they could settle things by now but it had been weird since Lorelai's birthday.

There was an afterthought in her mind about her idea she had suggested to Jess, though. The state of her mother's relationship with her own parents left Rory's in an awkward position. She hoped that they would still help her.

It seemed spoiled to ask them for money to so she can be with her boyfriend while she goes away to college. There was also the factor of Rory didn't ask her grandparents for money ever. Her mother had asked for Chilton, but that was Lorelai. Maybe they would prefer the idea of her living someplace off campus anyway.

There was also the fact that it was Yale. Yale had been her grandfather's college as much as her grandmother's. They would probably want her to experience it just as they had. When they find out Jess would also be living there too, she could imagine the reaction.

As she approached the diner, a smile appeared on her face. Things were really good, she thought to herself. Despite everything and the stress, it was good. A part of her waited for the other shoe to drop while the other part ignored that side.

She walked right in when she reached the door and after a wave to Luke, headed upstairs. A soft knock before the door opened then she was inside. Jess smiled at her from the other side and she couldn't help but smile back. As she entered,she greeted her boyfriend with a quick kiss before he shut the door.

"Didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon," he said to her. "Does that mean you told your mom your plan and you're warning me to leave before she kills me?"

Rory laughed. "No. I haven't told her yet although thank you for the fear that she'll kill you when I do."

"You mean you didn't think she would already?" Jess teased.

She didn't answer his joke, mostly because she knew how much her mother had protested their relationship. "I'm actually looking for my graduation speech. I had it here earlier. Have you seen it?"

"No," he shook his head. "But feel free to look."

"Thanks," she gave him a half a smile. "Anything you wanna hide before I find it?"

"No," he smiled at her.

Rory nodded and began to look over on his side of the apartment, where she had sat earlier. Jess came up behind her and with a kiss on her hair, he put a soda on the table beside her. "Thank you."

He nodded, knowing her well enough to know she'd want something to drink but never asked. "No problem."

He headed out of the room and to Rory's guess, into the bathroom. She looked through all the open spaces before she wondered if it could have gotten swept into a drawer. Rory sat up and opened the first drawer. Mostly clothes were inside and she blushed when she realized she had found Jess' boxers. Quickly she shut that drawer and opened the next more slowly.

Right on top, as if it had been thrown inside hurriedly, was a flat and smooth piece of paper. On it was Jess' handwriting as well as an address. The zip code and state listed was California. Rory frowned. Why did Jess have a California address in his drawer?

There was no name attached to it which made her even more curious. The door to the bathroom opened and Rory quickly shut the drawer. Then in the corner of her eye, she saw her speech. The special cover she had it in made it stand out among the other paper in the pile.

Jess entered the room just as she grabbed it. "Found it."

"Good," he nodded. "I know you would go crazy without it."

She smiled but it was a little uneasy. "I was just a little bit."

The urge to ask about the address was strong. They had a new thing in their relationship though. For the first time, Rory and Jess were trying to be a hundred percent honest about everything. She knew that in his own time, he would tell her. At least she hoped he would and then mentally kicked herself for having to hope.

"Is everything okay?" Jess asked, sensing the change from before he left.

"Good, great," she answered. "But I have to go."

"Okay," he was confused but didn't comment. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, later," Rory agreed and kissed him quickly. The further she got from that piece of paper right now, the better.

The second she was out the door, her mind raced. Down the steps and into the diner, her thoughts filled with wonderment. Who did that address belong to? She wasn't crazy enough to think Jess would cheat on her, especially with someone on the other side of the country. She could count that out at least.

As her mind wondered through the options, her feet traveled home. When she got to her room, she would go over her speech and not worry about the address. At least that was what she told herself anyway.


	6. Goodbyes

A/N: okay I've left this abandoned because I've been in a funk. I attempted to write something else, a one shot but then I stopped that too. I apologize for how long this has gone unfinished. I never intended to leave this alone for so long especially with so little to the story left.

Rory couldn't decide what to do. Earlier she had gone over to her grandparents' home and Emily still seemed stiff when it came to Lorelai. She felt caught in the middle in a way she'd hoped she'd never have to be. Neither budged on their sides and she thought it was ridiculous.

Graduation was almost here and that should be her focus. After the ceremony, they were supposed to have a family dinner. Rory could only imagine how that would go. As it was, Sookie and Jackson were also on the guest list for the dinner which helped a little. Emily always got along with Sookie.

Luke had quietly bowed out of the invite. His limited experience with the Gilmores wasn't exactly great. Rory and Lorelai both understood why and Lorelai had even offered, as a joke or at least she thought, to opt out with him.

Jess had been harder. The idea of graduation still stung him as his girlfriend could tell from his face. He didn't say anything. He would smile and encourage her about how she won't trip but she knew. She had asked him hesitantly if he'd come, to which he said yes.

But the dinner he said maybe he'd stay behind with Luke. At first, he said if she really wanted him to come, he would. Rory could tell how he felt about spending time with her grandparents on top of the reminder of what won't happen to him. Things had gotten better with Lorelai but he wasn't sure they'd ever get better with Emily Gilmore.

So when Jess had told Rory he'd stay behind and not attend her graduation dinner, she'd agreed. She didn't want to force him into small talk and glares from the Gilmores. Her mind flashed over that address Jess had hidden and she forced the thoughts aside. It wasn't what it appeared and he probably had a good explanation for it.

Over dinner, Richard had asked where Jess had gone. Rory laughed it off, said he had some stuff to do and they would celebrate tomorrow. Neither of her grandparents seemed to approve that answer but it didn't matter to her. She just wished he had come.

After dinner, Lorelai and Rory arrived home, away from the judging eyes of the elder Gilmores. They collapsed onto the couch, ready to fall right asleep.

Rory decided to ask a question that'd been plaguing her instead. "Mom, is there any reason someone might have an out of state address hidden in their furniture?"

"What do you mean?" She turned to her daughter. "Like for a business?"

She shook her head. "No. More like… I found a California address with no name on it hidden in Jess' stuff."

"Ah," she understood. "And you think it could be a girl?"

"Not exactly," Rory replied. "I don't think Jess is the cheating type. I don't even think I've ever seen him look at anyone else since we've been together. It's just... California. What could be in California?"

"I honestly can't answer that for you, sweets," Lorelai told her. "But if you're thinking about it,maybe you should ask Jess about it."

"I think I'm afraid of what the answer will be," she sighed. "We've gotten to this really good place, Mom. We even talked about him coming to New Haven with me. I don't want something else to screw it up."

"Just talk to him," her mother put her hand over hers. "Nothing can be solved unless you know. And you won't feel better making you assumptions in your head."

Rory nodded as she made the decision to go to Jess the next day and ask about the address.

…...

It was late afternoon when Jess came over the next day. They went straight to watching movies - he brought over Blow since he'd seen it advertised the last time he'd rented his favorite, Almost Famous. In an attempt to not make Rory watch that more than she wanted to, he chose a different selection.

Rory was mostly silent. She didn't bring up the address but something had obviously been on her mind. Her boyfriend couldn't tell what it was and he knew that if she felt like it, she would share. He didn't want to push but he hoped that she wouldn't be like him and hide it.

Somewhere during the movie, sometime around Penelope Cruz' first appearance, Jess turned to his girlfriend. Her legs were in his lap as she watched the tv with her back against the arms of the couch. It was summer now so she wore shorts and he could feel just how soft her skin felt. His thought moved away from there as he remembered that night at the party with disgust.

"You know what I've been thinking?" He asked.

"Hmm?" She made a sound but turned away from the screen.

He took a breath. "You know what you said about Yale? Us moving in together?"

"Yeah," she nodded, now more anxious to where this was leading.

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea," he began.

She sat up straighter, her legs came off of his lap. "I thought you wanted to."

"I did," he replied. "I do. It's just - you shouldn't have to ask your grandparents for money just so I can follow you."

"I don't mind asking them," she told him. "I know it sounds like a spoiled rich girl thing to say but they like doing stuff for me."

He shook his head. "Rory, that's not what I mean. Not exactly."

"Then what?" She was confused.

"You belong in a dorm," he clarified. "You belong at Yale, studying, being great - and you should do it in a dorm. Not with your boyfriend that didn't even graduate high school."

"I told you that didn't matter to me -"

"I know," Jess put his hand on hers, on top of her right leg. "It's just, I don't want to hold you back."

"You're not holding me back," she said thoughtfully. "You could never hold me back."

"It doesn't feel like that," he half-mumbled.

Rory sighed. She heard that clearer than he intended. "You said this to me already. That you want me experience the college life. I don't understand why I can't experience college life without a dorm."

"Because a dorm means roommates," he said. "Roommates mean friends, or acquaintances or allies. It means you have somebody at this school. And you know you wouldn't be considering this if it wasn't for me. If we weren't together, you'd be set on a normal college experience instead of asking your family for money."

Rory let out a dry chuckle. "Gee, I don't know. Considering they paid for Chilton, that might be exactly what I was doing."

"Rory…"

"No, Jess," she said. "I don't understand and it just sounds like you're making excuses."

"Why would I make excuses?" He asked. He was about to add "I love you" after that but he cut himself off. It wasn't the time for that.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I just know the other day you were telling me that you wanted to be with me and now you're saying we shouldn't live together."

"Just because I don't think we should move in together doesn't mean I don't want to be with you," he commented. "It's not one or the other."

"Really?" Her voice softened. "So this isn't just some way to dump me before the summer comes?"

"No," he almost burst out laughing. "Believe me, there's better ways to dump someone then 'i wanna be with you but not stop you from your life'."

"You're not stopping my life," she inched closer. "My life is really beginning, to be honest. And I'm glad it's with you."

"Me, too," he gave her a small smile.

"Let's watch the movie," Rory suggested, her legs relaxed back where they had been mere minutes ago. "I wanna see George get arrested for all drug dealing already."

"You got it," he smiled and put his hand back on her leg.

…

Lorelai rushed into her daughter's room on a mission. She turned to the closet as soon as she entered in search of the top she wanted to borrow. While she shuffled through the hangers, she accidentally tilted one upward. A small box tumbled out of the closest and as she reached down to pick it up, she almost gasped.

"Did you find the top -" Rory asked as she walked into the room but stopped short when she noticed what was in her mother's hands.

"This fell out of the closet," Lorelai said.

Rory stepped forward hesitantly. She eyed the box in her mother's hand. "It isn't what you think."

"Oh, good," Lorelai replied sarcastically. "Because I thought this was a box of condoms but it's good to know it's labeled wrong."

"Mom," she tried.

"Just tell me honestly," she sighed. "Are you and Jess - are you sleeping together?"

"No, we're not," Rory answered.

"Rory," she stared at her daughter and the box. "You expect me to believe that you just happen to have a box of these and you're _not_ having sex? Come on. I wasn't born yesterday."

"We're not," she said with all seriousness. "I bought those because -"

"Because you're having sex?" Lorelai finished for her.

"No," she shook her head twice. "I wasn't gonna tell you this since I don't think it's happening anymore but Jess and I were gonna move in together. In the fall. When I go to Yale."

"When were you going to tell me you were moving in with your boyfriend?" She asked, hurt in her voice.

"Well, it seems kind of moot now because we're not," she sighed.

She nodded once. "But you were."

"It was discussed," Rory agreed.

"Wow," Lorelai said, aware she still held the condoms box in her right hand. "So...so this was a thing. Serious."

Rory agreed again. "Yes."

"You and Jess -" she paused then continued. "It isn't just a high school relationship."

"I hope not," she said back.

"Wow," Lorelai repeated. "Wow."

"You said that already," Rory commented.

"I think I need to process," she explained. "So you two are serious enough to live together but you're not sleeping together. I don't know whether I'm scared or relieved."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said. "It happened so fast and graduation was coming -"

That caught her attention. "You decided this before graduation?"

"Not in depth, more as an idea," Rory tried. "It wasn't actually decided. I just thought it'd be nice and Jess was talking about moving out of Stars Hollow and closer to me. It made sense."

"Well, what stopped it then?" Lorelai asked, now curious as to why they decided against it if it had made sense. A large part of her was relieved though.

"Money," she sighed. "I was gonna ask Grandma and Grandpa but Jess didn't want me to do that."

"Ah," Lorelai said in understanding. "And that, my sweets, makes even more sense."

"I don't know what he's gonna do now," she said. "Maybe stay here until he has the money to live somewhere closer."

Lorelai finally put down the box on her daughter's dresser. "I think I underestimated you two and Jess."

Rory didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"See, I always thought he was just this crush," she began. "The bad boy. What every girl needs to go through at least once in her life, usually in high school. But what is it - seven months later?"

"Eight," Rory smiled to herself.

"Eight," she repeated. "The two of you are together for eight months and you're planning on what to do when you leave for college. Most guys would assume you have to break up. But Jess - he's planning on moving closer."

"I'm in love with him," Rory said without thought.

"Wow," her mother repeated again. "And Jess - does he -?"

"I think so," she replied. "We haven't exactly said it yet."

Lorelai nodded. "You're happy with him? I don't need to worry that you're not?"

Rory smiled again. "I'm happy with him, Mom."

"All right," she smiled back. "Then I'm just gonna take the top I came in here for and I'll be on my way and try to pretend I don't know that box is in my little girl's bedroom."

"Okay," she almost laughed.

Lorelai grabbed the top off the hanger, the one that accidentally knocked down the offending item. "Luke's later?"

"Yeah, sure." she smiled as she headed out of the room and Lorelai was left to digest the information she had just learned.

…..

Jess flicked the piece of paper back and forth between his fingers. He felt like he'd stared at it for an eternity. It was as if something was telling him to use it.

The door to the apartment opened and in walked his uncle. "I thought you were working today."

"You told me I could have the day off," Jess commented.

Luke thought for a moment. "Right. Sorry."

Jess just nodded to himself, his eyes glued to the paper in his hand. Luke noticed this and waited a moment before he realized his nephew wasn't going to say anything.

"What are you doing?" He asked. The younger man looked up at him and he tilted his head towards the paper. "What's that?"

"Jimmy's address," he admitted.

The older man couldn't hide his distaste. "What are you doing with that?"

"I've just been thinking," Jess replied. "Wondering if he's still in town or if he went back home."

"If you ask me, you're better off if he left," Luke said as he sat down.

"I know," he agreed. "It's just - right after he came here, I was talking to Rory about him. She told me I should talk to him. I'm thinking that maybe I should."

Luke sighed. "What, so he can make up some bullshit excuse as to why he left? He had his chance to be your father, Jess. He gave it up."

"Trust me, I know all of that too," he began. "It's just when I think of growing up without a father, I wonder what could make him leave. And then with everything going on with Rory -"

"What's going on with Rory?" He interrupted. "Please don't tell me she's -"

"She's not," he clarified. "But thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Well what do you mean then?" he questioned.

"I don't wanna disappoint her the way my father did to me or even Liz," he confessed. "I know I probably will but I don't want to do it."

"So don't do it," Luke said.

"It's not that easy," Jess disagreed.

Luke shrugged. "Maybe it is. Maybe you just stick around and don't follow what you think is expected of you because of who your parents are."

"She deserves better than me," Jess sighed.

"You should let her decide that," he explained.

"I don't wanna be my father," he said. "Or my mother, for that matter."

"Don't be," Luke told him. "Just be Jess. Rory obviously cares about you as you so just keep being yourself."

Jess nodded once. "Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. That she wants this person she believes me to be and doesn't see that I'm too broken to be who that is."

"You're already him," Luke gave him a small smile. "Trust me."

"Thanks, Luke," he said.

"No problem," he replied then stood up. "I gotta get back down to the diner. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'll be fine."

Luke nodded at his nephew then was out the door.

Jess stood up from the table and headed to the phone, the piece of paper Jimmy gave him in his hand.

…..

Jess had been doing a lot of thinking all day long. He'd been grateful that Luke had let him off today and that he'd left him alone with his thoughts. Eventually, he got restless in the apartment so he headed out to the bridge.

It was barely ten minutes before he heard footsteps coming towards him. Jess lifted his head, about to tell his uncle that he didn't need to talk right now but when he looked, it was someone else who stood before him.

It was Rory.

"Luke told me you were here," she explained. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course," he nodded, knowing full well it was a little hypocritical considering he was about to tell his uncle the opposite.

Rory nodded too and sat down beside him. "I have a question and I don't want you to think I'm assuming anything. It's just I found something that I don't think I was supposed to find and I can't stop my thoughts from turning back to it no matter what else is going on."

She took a deep breath and Jess smirked. He thought she was cute when she rambled. "So what's the question then?"

"You're gonna laugh," she replied.

He put his hands up in surrender. "I promise I won't."

"You already are," she pointed out.

"I'm smiling bc you're adorable when you ramble," he said back.

"Oh," she blushed.

"What's the question?" He tried again.

"The other day, I was in your apartment looking for my graduation speech," she started. "I found this address I didn't recognize and I guess it just made me curious."

"Oh," now he said.

"It's not that I think you'd cheat," she clarified. "I hope you wouldn't but I don't think that's what it is. Just I need you to tell me I'm worrying about nothing and it's not some girl prettier than me who thinks you're hot and that I can't compete with."

Jess now laughed. "Is that what you thought?"

Rory frowned. "You promised you wouldn't laugh."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "It's just - you thought that I had some random girl's address hidden with my stuff and that even though I wasn't cheating, that I'd keep it? Plus that she's somehow prettier and smarter than you?"

"No making fun," she said even though a smile fought against her will.

"I just don't how the me in your scenario kept the address but didn't actually do anything about it," he laughed once more. "I feel like I should have thrown it out in your version, right?"

"Okay, fine, laugh," she said. "but please, just tell me I'm crazy or the truth about it so I can stop making up stuff in my head."

"Okay," he agreed. "The address is a California address to my father's home. He gave it to me when he was here and I stuffed it away, unsure of what to do about it."

Rory was silent for a moment. "So I was way off."

"Just a little," he teased.

"Why did he leave a address?" She asked. "Not a phone number?"

"Because at the time, he was still in town," he admitted.

"And now he's not?"

"I called every inn and hotel and motel at a radius close to this town," Jess said. "Only one knew the name Jimmy Mariano and he left two days ago."

"Jess, I'm so sorry," she reached out and touched his shoulder.

"It's okay," he shrugged.

"No, it's not," she disagreed. "He should have at least told you before he left."

"Well he didn't exactly tell my mother he was leaving either so I guess he's 0 for 2," he commented.

"Is that what you're thinking about?" She asked. "Why you're here?"

"Part of it," he admitted.

She stared at him. "What's the other part?"

"Can we get out of here?" He asked, evading the question.

His non answer wasn't lost on her. "Yeah, sure. My mom's at work. We can go there."

They walked to her house in silence. Jess reached for her hand and she squeezed it tightly. When they finally reached her home, she unlocked the door with the key in her pocket and let him in first.

"Do you want anything?" She asked. "I'm not sure we have that much in the house anyway since we're leaving for Europe soon but there should be something."

"Nah, I think I'm good," he replied.

"Okay," she said as they looked around awkwardly. "Okay. One of us should say something or sit somewhere because I'm feeling a little weird right now."

"Right," he let out a small laugh without too much humor. He sat down on the couch and she followed.

"So what else is it?" She asked softly. "What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on," he said honestly and she gave him a look. "Honest, Rory."

"Then what's the other part?" She asked. "The other part of why you were sitting out there alone on the bridge."

"I was thinking about you," he said.

"Me?" she seemed surprised. "What about me? I thought we agreed on the moving in together thing not being right for right now."

"It wasn't about that," he shook his head.

"Oh," she seemed even more surprised now. "Then what about me?"

"I -" he cut himself off. It didn't seem like the right time to tell her exactly what he'd been thinking but he didn't want her thinking it was worse than it was.

She looked at him worriedly. He could see in her eyes that she needed to know even if it was nothing big or the biggest thing of all. "What?"

He took a deep breath then began. "I was thinking about what if I was like my father. What if I disappointed you the way my father disappointed my mother. And then I realized something else, something I hadn't admitted to myself even though I knew it."

Rory leaned closer, putting her hands in his. "What is it?"

"That I don't want to ever hurt you," he said. "That I don't want to disappoint you and I don't want to make you hate me."

"I don't think I could ever hate you -" she tried to cut in.

Jess shook his head. "I also realized just much I've fallen in love with you."

That definitely made her speechless. She tried to process his words as best as she could. Eventually, the smile erupted on her face.

"I'm sure I'm not the best at showing how I feel," he continued. "I actually figured this out a little while ago but I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure how you felt either and I didn't want to get something like a thank you in response, either."

"Wow," was all she could say, smile still in place.

"Say something," he said.

"Thank you," she said and then erupted into laughter.

"That's not funny," he said.

"It's a little funny," she teased. Rory stopped laughing and turned serious. "Also, I've fallen in love with you, too."

"Yeah?" He couldn't help smiling himself.

She nodded. "Yeah."

Jess leaned in and kissed her with every ounce of passion he could. His arms came around her back and held her tight to his body. Her hands went to his face, holding his cheeks in her hands.

It wasn't long before Rory's back was against the couch cushions and Jess laid on top of her. Their lips never disconnected except only to take a breath. It didn't feel like they needed one but also like they couldn't catch one fast enough.

Rory's hands had since trailed from his face to his back. Her fingers traced the edge of his shirt before she riskingly touched his skin. Jess stopped for a moment to look at her. She smiled at her boyfriend and pulled his mouth back down to hers.

Her nails trailed his skin like a flame. They went along his lower back, flat across it, then she moved them towards his jeans. Finally, she rested them in his back pockets where today held no book. If it was any other time, she'd have wondered why but right now there was other things on her mind.

Jess didn't stop this time. His hands moved to her sides and trailed along her own shirt. Rory smiled against his lips and he responded back even more fiercely. At first, just his right hand moved. It slipped ever so slowly under the bottom of her shirt. His hand laid on her stomach and he ached to touch more.

But he didn't. Rory pouted against him now but didn't speak. Instead, she moved her hands out of his back pockets and moved them towards his hand. Her left hand went over his right, inching upwards. Instead of just her stomach, Rory placed his hand over her breast, covered only by a bra.

This time he moved apart. "Rory -"

"No," she shook her hand and covered his mouth with her right hand. "Not this time."

He nodded, not sure how he could say no again. He wanted this. There was denying it. But he just wasn't sure what exactly she wanted and that scared him.

"Jess?" She asked against his lips. He moved apart slightly, hand still hidden under her top. "I'm ready now."

"Ready?" He asked. "Are you - are you sure?"

Rory nodded. "We've had a lot of close calls, especially lately. And I've been thinking a lot. It's not just because we were talking about moving in with each other or because of whatever other reason teenagers might feel like they have to have sex because of."

"Then what is it?" He smiled a little, wanting to hear the answer but also wanting to go back to what they were doing.

"It's you," she finally said. "It's you, Jess. I've never felt about anyone like this before and I know the other times it wasn't right but this feels right. And I know now that I'm ready and that the only person I wanted it to be was with you."

He stared into her eyes to see if she was lying. All that he saw reflected back at him was deep affection and pure want. He knew all the reasons he shouldn't but he was coming up blank on his reasons now. All he could think of was what was going on and that he loved this girl in front of him. Reasons be damned.

"Say something," she pleaded just as he had earlier.

For a moment, he considered saying 'Thank you', just to get her back for before. But he knows this isn't the time and he doesn't want to bring down the moment where his teasing might not be so appreciated.

"Okay," he finally replied.

"Okay," she repeated.

"Okay," he says again but this time he kissed her. It was consuming and passionate and everything you'd want in a kiss.

When they finally break apart again, Rory speaks again. "The bedroom."

Jess nodded wordlessly. He stood up first but instead of holding out his hand for his girlfriend to take, he lifted her off the couch and onto his shoulder. Rory laughed loudly as he carried her to her room and then put her down on the bed.

"Come here," she said in a whisper.

And so he did. He climbed on the bed after her and immediately their lips connected. For the first time, Rory was thankful her mother had found that box and never put it away.

…..

A few days later, Luke and Jess stood outside the Gilmore's house. They packed in their Europe luggage into the older man's truck as Sookie said a goodbye to her best friend.

Rory headed back inside, seeming like she forgot something. No one but Jess had noticed this so he told Luke to excuse him and followed her inside.

"Hey," he said as he entered the house.

He found her in her bedroom. Rory turned around and he instantly knew why she left everyone. Her face was red and tears streamed down her cheeks.

Immediately, he turned into protective mood. "Are you okay?"

Rory nodded as her boyfriend came up to her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "Yes. No. I don't know."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"There's not much to say," she replied. "I'm leaving today for another country."

"We're gonna write all the time," he said.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Rory nodded with a sniffle. Jess wiped her eyes and cheeks. His fingers brushed her skin a little longer than he needed to but he didn't care.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He was confused. "For what?"

"For following me inside," she said.

There was footsteps and then a knock at the door. "Lane's here."

Rory nodded. "Okay."

Lorelai looked at her daughter worriedly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded and gave a small smile. "Let me just splash some water on my face then I'll go say goodbye."

"All right," her mother replied as she walked out of the room and into the downstairs bathroom. Jess was about to follow until she called his name.

"Yeah?"

"I know me and you haven't really gotten along," she started. "But I know my daughter pretty well. And she seems happy with you. Especially these last few weeks. I don't know the full of what's been going on but I do know some and I just wanna say thank you for being honest with her and for making her happy."

"You're welcome," he said, a blush almost appearing. "but it's all her. You raised an amazing girl, Lorelai. I'm just lucky she lets me along for the ride."

"That may be true also," she smiled. "but it doesn't mean what I said is any less true, either. I wanted you to know before we left. I didn't want you to think that there was any mother-daughter's boyfriend feud still going."

Jess smiled back. "Thanks, Lorelai."

Rory came out of the bathroom and headed back to them once realizing they we're still inside. "Ready to go out there?"

"Yeah, let's go," Lorelai answered.

They headed outside where Rory went straight to her own best friend. They hugged extremely that and Jess just watched. He knew his goodbye was coming next.

…..

When Rory said goodbye to Jess, it was harder than either of them assumed it would be. Maybe it was the distance or how close they were now they admitted their feelings and even slept together. Neither of them thought of what it really might be - the upcoming future.

The two of them wrote to each other every day for two months. The more excited his girlfriend was about Europe, Yale or just anything, the more he realized something else.

He didn't think he could do it anymore.

The back and forth writing. I miss you more. Talking about how bright her future was while his was so dim.

It was a struggle every day. Every day that passed, it got closer to the fall. Jess didn't know what he was doing. He planned on staying with Luke and working until he had enough money for his own place.

At first it seemed like a good plan. But now as he heard more and more about how much better Rory was doing, he felt like he held her back. She'd told him before that he wasn't but the feeling stayed with him.

He was in love with her. That much wasn't even a question. What was a question was how long until she realized what he already knew? It killed him inside to think one day she might look at him the way he looks at himself. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of it. He couldn't.

One day after a nothing in particular letter came from Rory, Jess headed to his corner of the apartment and stared at his furniture. He couldn't believe what his mind was thinking but he knew it was something he needed to do. The letter that had arrived that day didn't say anything to inspire his actions. It was more the opposite. It was what it didn't say.

Then he grabbed a duffel bag. He began to pack his clothes inside and once it was full, he closes it tight. The rest of his stuff he'd send for eventually. That's if Luke even wanted to send it.

Luke. He didn't want to leave him either. It seemed impossible to even consider. He was more a parent to him than either of his biological parents. But that was also why he needed to do this. Before things got any more comfortable than they were, he needed to talk to his dad. He needed to know him and who he came from.

Quickly, Jess wrote a letter to both Luke and Rory. He wasn't sure which letter was harder to write. He checked bus times and used the back door to the diner to get outside. The duffel was slung over his shoulder and he was determined.

It was probably the biggest mistake of his life. He hoped Luke and Rory would forgive him eventually but knew if he didn't do this now, he might never and he needed to do it. He needed to find out who he was.

…..

A week later, Rory tried to call the diner. It went straight to voicemail every time she tried the past couple of days. She was beginning to get worried. It'd been days since she last heard from Jess and she should have gotten a reply letter by now. Something in the pit of her stomach told her something was wrong.

Finally when she called a second time that day, the phone picked up. "Yeah?"

It was Luke and he sounded grumpy. Rory took a breath and readied herself. "Hi, Luke. It's Rory."

"Rory," he said. "Shit. Uh...the diner is really busy right now -"

"I just have one question," she cut him off. "Is Jess okay? I haven't heard from him and it's weird."

"Jess?" He questioned.

She let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, your nephew. Uses a lot of hair product and doesn't like to say much. Remember him?"

"He isn't here," he said almost with anger.

"Oh," she was surprised. "Where is he then? Maybe I can call again later."

"Don't bother," Luke replied. "He took off about a week ago. I don't know where he went but he left a letter."

"What?" She was in shock. "Jess is gone?"

The words caught Lorelai's attention. She sat beside her daughter in their room. "He's gone?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I've been meaning to call you but I don't know, it just didn't seem right. Telling you over the phone."

"I understand," she said even though she didn't. "Do you think he'll be back?"

"I don't know," he admitted and Rory could feel herself almost break. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she lied.

"Rory, there's something else," he said. "He left a letter for you too."

"Oh," she sniffed.

"You're coming back soon," he stated. "I was gonna give you the letter when you came home."

"Did you read it?" She wondered.

"No," he promised. "It was in an envelope beside mine with your name on it. There was a PS after mine that told me to give it to you."

"Why would he write a letter?" She asked. "If you're leaving, you tell them yourself."

"I don't know, honestly," Luke sighed. He wished there was more he could say to help.

She nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Did he act differently? Was anything going on?"

"He seemed fine," he replied. "I thought he was happy."

"I guess that's the thing," she said. "I thought he was happy too."

They said their goodbyes and instantly after her daughter was off the phone, Lorelai came beside her and put her arms around her. "Jess is gone?"

Rory nodded as the tears came down freely now. "Luke said he left a week ago. He didn't say anything to anyone besides two letters that he left - one for me and one for Luke."

"Oh, hon," she rubbed Rory's shoulders in comfort. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't know why he did it," she sniffed. "We were doing really good. Great, actually. We were talking every day since I left. What could make him just leave like that? And not tell me and especially Luke? I don't understand."

"I know," Lorelai said. "It doesn't make sense."

"I hate him," Rory cried.

"No, you don't," Lorelai said back.

The younger girl shook her head. "Yes, I do. I hate for leaving. I hate him for making me love him. I hate him for - everything."

"You don't," she still disagreed. "You're angry and that's understandable. But you don't hate him."

"That's not true," she argued.

"Sweetie," Lorelai forced Rory to look in her eyes. "Before we left for our trip, I had a talk with him. He told me he was lucky you allowed him in your life."

"When was that?" She questioned. "And why would he say that to you?"

"It was when Lane came to say goodbye," she explained. "And he said it because I thanked him for making you happy."

"I don't feel very happy right now," she pointed out.

"That may be so but it doesn't erase that you loved him," she pointed out.

"Mom," she said in a sob. "Me and Jess - we -"

"You and Jess what?" She asked.

"We slept together," she answered. "I'm so so sorry I didn't tell you when it happened. It wasn't exactly planned or expected. But it happened and now I just feel like an idiot because he's gone and all I have now is a letter."

"You two -" Lorelai began then stopped. "Wow."

"Yeah," she sniffed again but this time wiped her face.

"It's okay," she told her. "I'm not mad about it. I raised you to trust your instincts and I'm not gonna tell you you're wrong to."

"I feel wrong," Rory whispered.

"You are not wrong," she said as seriously as she can and you are gonna get past this and come out better than ever because you are Rory Gilmore. You got it?"

"I am woman, hear me roar?" Rory joked as best as she could.

"Exactly," Lorelai smiled.

…..

 _Dear Rory -_

 _By the time you read this, I'll be gone. Not the kind where the person dies but I deserve if you wish I was._

 _Here it goes._

 _These last few months have shown me what it's like to be happy. Really and truly happy. I know you won't believe me but it's the truth. But that's the thing about it. Guys like me don't get to be happy. Not for a long time anyway. I fell in love with you when you were Dean last year. I never expected to actually get to be with you._

 _Girls like you deserve better than a guy like me. I knew it all along but I especially knew it the night of the party. If you hadn't followed me that night, I'd probably have left much sooner really. I would have noticed it sooner if I wasn't so happy. You're going to Yale and you have a bright future ahead of you. I do not. I can't help feeling like I'm gonna hold you back._

 _And I can't hold you back. I won't. You might say I'm not but I know I am. I didn't even graduate high school and I didn't take you to your prom. What am I gonna do? Work at Luke's the rest of my life? Work some minimum wage job while you go out in the world and do amazing things? Or worse, you don't do amazing things and you just stay with me._

 _You see, right now it probably won't make sense. But to me, it's something I've always figured out. As long as I was in Stars Hollow, I was headed nowhere. I'm sorry that you had to be caught in the middle of it. I didn't mean for that to happen either._

 _I needed to get out of there. Before I can be the kind of guy who deserves someone like you, I need to figure out who I am and what I'm gonna do with my life. The more excited you were about Yale, the more I felt like I held you back. The closer the days became, the clearer it got._

 _Please don't hate me for this. If you do, I understand that too but I hate myself enough already. Leaving you is the hardest thing I'll ever do and that's why I'm leaving a note instead of doing it in person. I need you to know why. I need you to be okay. It sounds stupid and selfish but I care about you more than I care about me so that's just the one thing I need from you._

 _Move on. Be happy. Maybe one day, if it's right, if we cross paths, it'll be the time for us. Who knew if you'll even forgive me for this? But if by some chance you do, I wanna make sure I'm ready to be that person. I need to make sure I can't disappoint you ever again._

 _I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. I'm sorry, Rory._

 _Love, Jess_

 **A/N: I know, probably gonna get some mad response to this if anyone still reading. Jess leaving was always my planned ending. The long wait between chapters did not change that. The only thing that did change is when Jess left. Originally, he was going to leave after Rory's graduation. Instead I gave them more happiness and more time to be in love. This was done so that when Jess leaves, it would make sense just how much he broke her heart. So it would make sense why she didn't give her another chance because she didn't want to be that hurt again.**

 **It is up to my readers whether they fall in love again in the future. My ending is meant for why Rory will only be friends with Jess, as shown in 6x08 or the revival. It doesn't mean it will never happen but I felt like he needed to mean more to her in order for her never considering him as a contender (yes I'm using that word) would work.**

 **I hope you like it anyway and now this fic is finally complete. I don't know if I'm gonna write anything else. This may be my last update ever but I hope I get as inspired as I have the past week to finish this so that I can do another one in the future.**


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